This book is a praxis: a set of real-world practices for navigating reality as it is, rather than how we wish it to be. The language is clear and direct, and the book aggregates into a highly robust and coherent work of practical, livable philosophy.
Author Harry Browne developed this philosophy over the course of many years, and it's inspiring to hear him talk about his mistakes, his refinements in thinking over time, and the surprising and often liberating benefits that came his way as he followed his own practices. This author eats his own cooking, and the result is a generous gift to readers.
This does not mean you'll agree with everything the author writes! In fact, Browne encourages readers to disagree with him as we sort out our specific values, rules and boundaries. He wants volitional readers, not readers looking to be told what to think and do. We'll come back to this idea.
[A quick affiliate link to Amazon for those readers who would like to support my work here: if you purchase your Amazon products via any affiliate link from this site, or from my sister site Casual Kitchen, I will receive a small affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you!]
The book has three parts. Part I explains all of the various traps we set for ourselves to give away our freedoms. Many of these traps are quite subtle, particularly those based on assumptions we make without realizing it. The best traps don't really look like traps. Look for them: they are everywhere.
Part II explains how to escape from these traps--and thereby obtain your freedom. Many escapes come from a shift in your mindset, a shift in how you see the world, or a shift in your willingness to seek creative alternatives. I mentioned volition above: in this part of the book you'll have to have it, and be willing to use it.
Finally, Part III explains important aspects of the journey toward freedom: how it changes you, making you more direct, sincere and unapologetic for who you are. By the time you get to this part of How I Found Freedom, you'll think and see things differently. At this point there's no going back: the book will have already changed you into a person well on your way to reclaiming your self-sovereignty.
A few brief comments on a few of the book's most important ideas. I'll start with the author's distinction between what he calls "direct" and "indirect" alternatives to any limit to your freedoms. Direct alternatives--nearly always superior--involve you taking direct action, whereas indirect alternatives require you to persuade, recruit or coerce others to do something. Usually, when we seek access to a right or freedom, we are taught that the solution is to join a group, to recruit others to our cause, or to become politically active (somehow). But these "solutions" are all indirect, because they involve the need to persuade others first before anything else can happen. The author shows, persuasively, how these indirect alternatives don't bring you any closer to your freedom--in most cases they take you further away! Better to find a direct alternative, like moving to a place where the freedoms you seek are already available, and where you can find others sharing your values.
Another central idea: take a hard look at instances in your life where you are doing what you think you "should" do (read: what your friends, family or socioeconomic peers think you should do) rather than what you actually want. That famous quote about consumerism comes to mind: "We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't even like." Rather than taking for granted imagined or socially-constructed assumptions about what you "should" be or "should" do, find out who you are, and what you truly want. It's not as easy as it looks: many of us live under layers of false assumptions, all of which needlessly limit our freedom to be who we really are. This is one of the book's most powerful ideas.
Note that many of the freedoms discussed throughout the book are nested and interdependent. We can turn to consumerism once again for another telling example: if you're living a high-cost, consumerist life, and you're so busy "keeping up with the Joneses" that you're unable to save up any capital, you're throwing away obvious freedom in the financial domain, and this will further inhibit your freedoms in other life domains. But also realize that this means once you unlock a given freedom in one domain, you usually can quickly unlock adjacent freedoms.
One last comment. Some of the author's advice might be seen as harsh or overly direct. Good. He had the courage to tell us the truth; we have the opportunity to mine his many insights. I thank this author gratefully for an indispensable book.
Self-Sovereignty Reading List:
Henry Cloud: Boundaries
James Dale Davidson and William Rees-Mogg: The Sovereign Individual
Erich Fromm: Escape from Freedom [see in particular this book's humbling and sobering discussion of pseudo-thinking and pseudo-will, see pages 185-206]
Steve Pavlina: Personal Development for Smart People [see in particular his discussions of truth, power, courage and behaving congruently with your principles]
Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin: Your Money Or Your Life
Jacob Lund Fisker: Early Retirement Extreme
Tyler Disney: Deep Response
Also note also the tremendous--and idiosyncratic--reading list at the very bottom of this post!
[Readers, what follows are quote, my notes and my reactions to the book--they are here to help me order my thinking and better remember what I read. They are long to the point of endless. Feel free to skim the bolded parts or skip it all. Life is short!]
Notes:
Foreword to the 2004 Edition
vii Interesting to note that this book went out of print: like a lot of samizdat literature about the modern socioeconomic system, the system doesn’t want to see it sold, it doesn't want you to escape, it wants to keep you ignorant and scrolling.
vii "The book’s only new element is an Afterword that updates my thinking on some subjects. So this is essentially the same book published in 1973. I happily stand by it."
Prologue: Freedom in an Unfree World
2 On the difference between the urge for freedom and the reality: "For most people, freedom remains a pleasant fantasy–something to dream of while carrying out daily obligations in the real world. They spend their lives talking vaguely of what they want in life, what they think they’re missing, why they don’t have it, and who it is that prevents them from being free."
4 "I can’t know which specific freedom you crave most–freedom from social restrictions, family problems, high taxes, bad relationships, the treadmill, governmental repression. Whichever one is most important to you, we’ll cover it and more. And I think you’ll find that the principles to be stated will apply to any type of situation that may be restraining you. It’s not likely that you’ll ever gain your freedom by joining, marching, picketing, or complaining–because all those methods rely upon changing the attitudes of others. What I have in mind concerns the use of methods over which you have complete control." [This quote is a nutshell summary of one of this book's foundational ideas. Remember it!]
4 "There probably are two basic reasons you haven’t taken advantage of that freedom. One reason is that you’re unaware of the many alternatives available to you. ...The second reason you’re not free is because you’ve probably accepted without challenge certain assumptions that restrict your freedom. Note the thoughts here on avoiding either/or thinking, as well as avoiding certain epistemic traps we permit ourselves to accept, truisms we don’t question, like permitting others to convince you are being selfish, etc.
6ff "So please don’t gain the impression that I’m telling you how to live. You have to decide how you’re going to live. There will be scores of suggestions made in this book–and you’ll have to decide which ones you can accept and can act upon. If I write with passion and urgency in places, don’t assume that I’m demanding a specific course of action from you; the greatest urgency will be in encouraging you to make the decisions for yourself."
7 [Quick summary of the book's structure here] The first section covers the numerous traps that enslave people, assumptions people accept without challenge, restrictions on one’s life that need not exist. "It’s interesting to see how empty are many of those assumptions when looked at closely." The second section offers alternatives. The third section will cover "techniques that can be used to make the changeover from a non-free life to a free life."
Part I: Why You Are Not Free
Chapter 2: The Identity Traps
10 "There are two Identity Traps: (1) the belief that you should be someone other than yourself; and (2) the assumption that others will do things in the way you would. ...In the first trap, you necessarily forfeit your freedom by requiring yourself to live in a stereotyped, predetermined way that doesn’t consider your own desires, feelings, and objectives. The second trap is more subtle but just as harmful to your freedom. When you expect someone to have the same ideas, attitudes, and feelings you have, you expect him to act in ways that aren’t in keeping with his nature. As a result, you’ll expect and hope that people will do things they’re not capable of doing." Comments here on how we each interpret reality differently, what you consider to be common sense will vary from person to person. Thus you see and react to what goes around you differently from others. "And yet the root of the identity problem is that most individuals are oblivious to these differences. They assume that all people want the same things–or that they should want them."
12 "Each person will act in keeping with his own identity. This means he’ll be bound by the limits of his own knowledge and experience--even if he wishes he weren’t. To expect him to act otherwise is to fall into the Identity Trap and hope for something that can’t be... So the factor of truth becomes important. You want to see things truly so that you can deal with them properly. Whenever you fail to see something as it is, you’ll expect a result from it that’s different from what will occur." [This one of Krishnamurti's central ideas in Beginnings of Learning: you have to see, really see in order to competently navigate reality. Usually we don't see/perceive things deeply enough.]
13 "The purpose of knowing ‘truth’ is to be able to make it work for you. You need the truth in order to deal with things as they are and get predictable results from them... The uses may vary, but the principle is always the same: You want the truth so you can use it to produce a consequence you want.
14 "Your ability to get what you want depends upon these considerations: how clearly you recognize the identity of each thing and person you deal with, how well you isolate the relevant factors in any cause-and-effect relationship, and how well you allow for the possibility that other factors might alter the relationship."
14ff On doing things/producing consequences such that we have happiness and a feeling of well-being: "To change your mental state from unhappiness to happiness requires that you change your circumstances. And this is why you do things–to bring about the circumstances that will make you happier.
"Everything you do is motivated by the desire to feel as much happiness as possible and to eliminate mental discomfort--either in the short term or the long term."
15 Two types of decisions: “A positive decision is one in which you choose among alternatives to maximize your happiness. An example would be deciding whether you’ll be happier going to a movie or a football game. A negative decision is one in which you choose among alternatives to minimize your unhappiness. An example would be deciding whether to let your roof leak or to deplete your savings account to get it fixed. Neither choice will increase your happiness; you’re trying to decide which choice would be the least unpleasant. A free person spends most of his time making positive decisions--choosing among attractive alternatives.
Most people, however, spend most of their time making negative decisions--deciding which alternatives would be the least unpleasant, trying to keep things from getting worse.” [This is playing life on your heels, not being proactive/preemptive/anticipatory.]
16 Various aspects of the Identity Trap: “To try to find happiness by doing what seems to make others happy is to fall head first into the Identity Trap. Others can suggest what you ‘should’ do, or what ‘ought’ to make you happy, but they will often be wrong. You have to determine for yourself who you are, what makes you happy, what you’re capable of doing, and what you want to do. Be open to suggestions, but never forfeit the power to make the final decision yourself.”
16ff Other examples of Identity Traps:
* when you let others determine what’s right or wrong for you
* when you live by unquestioned rules that define how you should act and think
* when you try to be interested in something because it’s expected of you
* when you try to live up to an image that others say is the only legitimate, valid image you’re allowed to have
* if you buy a Cadillac to prove you’re successful, or a small foreign car because your friends are anti-Detroit; or if you shave every day to prove you’re respectable, or let your hair grow long to prove you don’t conform.
“In any of these ways, you allow someone else to determine what you should think and be.” [This leads the reader to interesting thoughts about boundary setting, making truly conscious, volitional choices, avoiding passivity or laziness when making decisions, etc.]
17 “You have chosen, perhaps carelessly, the identities you try to live up to. No one can tell you what identity you should have. But we can discuss some ways to look inside yourself to discover the identity that’s naturally yours. Only then can you act consistently, purposefully, and in ways that will bring happiness to you. And every artificial identity that you cast off will bring more freedom to you... Let it all come from within you. Don’t try to identify with an ideal person, a label, or a code that others think is best for you. They aren’t you; they can’t make your decisions for you.”
17ff On making incorrect assumptions about the identities of others: expecting your wife to be a certain way, etc. “When you misread someone’s identity, you expect from him what he can’t provide.” “Recognize each person you deal with as a different, distinct, individual entity, and you won’t have identity problems. Try to avoid labeling individuals and then expecting them to live up to your labels... The alternative is to throw away your precious life trying to change others, to make them see what you see, to make them into what you want them to be. Each individual seeks happiness for himself in the way that his knowledge and perception indicate to him. He isn’t you; don’t expect him to be.”
18ff Four basic principles, once recognized, that help you avoid the Identity Trap:
1. You are a unique individual--different from all other human beings.
2. Each individual is acting from his own knowledge in ways he believes will bring him happiness.
3. You have to treat things and people in accordance with their own identities in order to get what you want from them. [Don’t expect a person to act as they aren’t.]
4. You view the world subjectively--colored by your own experience, interpretation, and limits of perception.
19 “...the test to be applied to any idea is: does it work? Does your identification of things lead to the consequences you expect? If it does, what you’ve perceived was true enough for that situation.”
19 Good six-sentence summary of the chapter right here:
“The Identity Traps are the belief that you should live in a way determined by others and the assumption that others will react to things as you would. These two traps are the most basic of all traps.”
They might seem terribly obvious to you. If so, good--because the other traps are much less obvious, and many of them are subtle variations of these two.
None of them has to affect your life if you hold to the realization that you’re a unique individual, a ‘first’ in the world, one who’ll have to determine for himself what will bring him happiness.
If that principle seems far removed from the problem that led you to this book, I hope to show you shortly that this is the foundation necessary to free yourself of any restriction.
Until you discover and accept yourself fully, you won’t have the conviction or the courage to be free.”
Chapter 3: The Intellectual and Emotional Traps
21 “The two traps covered in this chapter affect the what and why of your actions. When you’re in the Emotional Trap, you don’t know--in any long-term way--what you’re doing. And when you’re in the Intellectual Trap, the why is lost.”
21 “The Intellectual Trap is the belief that your emotions should conform to a preconceived standard. This, of course, is a variation of the Identity Trap, for it’s an attempt to make yourself be something you aren’t. ...You’re also in the trap when you believe you should be happy simply because you’re doing what you’ve been told will make you happy. A good example is the businessman who has to keep reminding himself that his $70,000-a-year job and carpeted office are what he’s always wanted... The Intellectual Trap is an attempt to regiment your emotions so that they’ll react according to an intellectually determined standard.”
23 “Negative emotions can act as signals to you, letting you know there’s an uncomfortable part of your life that needs attention.” On acknowledging these emotions rather than denying them or wishing them away; however, recognizing that what to do about the situation is a separate matter.
24 On positive emotions: on not denying your enjoyments or forcing yourself to like or enjoy what you “should” like; on not being intimidated by common intellectual standards. “Your positive emotions are the seeds of a tastier life. They’re trying to tell you how you can be happy. If you ignore them, suppress them, or deny them, you lose the vital guideposts that could lead you toward happiness. Most people are capable of profound, rich emotions; they have the potential for deep and lasting happiness. But they’ve tuned themselves out in an attempt to be what they’ve been told they should be. It’s not surprising that they can’t really imagine lasting happiness.”
25 “If you find that you don’t feel enthusiastic about anything, it may be because you’ve lost touch with your emotions--the source that can tell you what would bring excitement to your life. That’s where you must look for the answer. If you deny your feelings, all the intelligent thinking and planning in the world won’t lead to happiness.”
25 “The Emotional Trap is the belief that you can make important decisions at a time when you’re feeling strong emotions. It’s the reverse side of the Intellectual Trap… That’s the time when you’re least likely to recognize all the alternatives and consequences.”
26 “I’ve found that it’s a good rule to never make an important decision when your emotions are in control. [Holy cow is this a critically important rule in investing!] I try to program myself in advance to remember this rule when I need it. When I’m in an emotional state (either positive or negative), I try to keep just enough intellect working to tell me one thing: don’t decide now. I wait until I’ve relaxed and can think more clearly. [A heuristic like this works spectacularly well with investing: whenever I’m emotionally aroused and feel like I need to make an investment decision, I almost always postpone it. I typically regret the times I don’t.]
27 “The Emotional Trap is typified by the assumption that one’s feelings of the moment will be permanent. This inspires actions that produce consequences that still have to be dealt with after the feelings have passed... Immediate pleasures can turn into permanent pains when you act as if the emotions of the moment are all the information you need to consider. You’re ignoring consequences--including the possibility that what you feel now may change.”
27-8 “You’re in the Intellectual Trap if you let your intellect tell you what you should feel. You’re in the Emotional Trap if you let your emotions make important decisions for you. Both traps lead to trouble. You have to know what you’re doing and why. The Emotional Trap blinds you to what you’re doing because you can’t see the consequences clearly. And the Intellectual Trap cuts you off from the only important why connected with your actions--knowing that what you’re doing will lead to what you know will create happiness.”
Chapter 4: The Morality Trap
29 “The Morality Trap is the belief that you must obey a moral code created by someone else. This trap is a variation of the Identity Trap in that it leads you to try to be something other than yourself. It’s an easy trap to get caught in and an easy way to lose your freedom.” Comments here on the rhetorical power of the word “moral,” and the even greater power of the word “immoral” as people will allow themselves to be manipulated by others in order to avoid being labeled with this word.
29ff The author posits three kinds of morality: personal, universal and absolute:
1) “A personal morality is the attempt to consider all the relevant consequences of your actions.” Discussion here of having noting the consequences of an action, both the consequences you want and those you don’t want; comments also on a personal code of conduct to help you navigate situations and keep you aimed to where you want to go. Note also this comment: “A personal morality is basic to your overall view of how you’ll find happiness. It’s so important that a later chapter will be devoted entirely to questions that can help you form such a morality for yourself.”
2) “A universal morality is a code of conduct that is presumed to bring happiness to anyone who uses it.” The author doesn’t believe there is a such a thing: “The differences between individuals are far too great to allow for anything but the most general kinds of rules.”
3) “An absolute morality is a set of rules to which an individual is expected to surrender his own happiness.” This comes from an authority outside the individual and it proposes the individual be “moral” regardless of the consequences to himself. Also note this quote: “...if an individual is required to give up his own happiness for society, of what value is society to him?” Finally: “The absolute morality fails on its two important characteristics. Even if you choose to believe there’s a higher authority, you are the authority who chooses what it is and what it is telling you to do. And since you’ll always be considering consequences, even if you try to fix it so that you aren’t, it’s important to deliberately recognize the consequences and decide which ones are important to you.”
34 “No matter how we approach the subject, we always wind up at the same place: No one can decide for you what is moral. So no matter what it may be, you are living by a personal morality. The question is whether or not you’re acting deliberately to make it the morality that will bring you the kind of life you want for yourself... A personal morality is vital because it can keep you aimed in the direction most important to you in the long-term. You can’t successfully devise such a morality until you know who you are and what you want. And since no one else can answer those questions, no one else is qualified to tell you how to get what you want.”
35 “I realize that, to some people, the concept of a personal, self-determined morality is revolutionary–possibly even appalling.”
35 “The Morality Trap is the belief that you must obey a moral code created by someone else. If you’re acting in ways you hope will satisfy someone else’s concept of what is moral, chances are you’re using an ill-suited code of conduct–one that won’t lead you to what you want and that may trap you in commitments and complications that can only cause you unhappiness. So in terms of the trap, what you do isn’t as significant as why you do it.”
36 Useful series of metaquestions to ask yourself as you examine each of the rules you’ve been living by:
* Is this rule something that others have devised on behalf of “society” to restrain individuals? Or have I devised it in order to make my life better for myself?
* Am I acting by an old, just-happens-to-be-there morality? Or is it something I’ve personally determined from the knowledge of who I am and what I want? [This is sort of like examining what kinds of "scripts" are running in your brain: are you running your scripts or scripts installed by others?]
* Are the rewards and punishments attached to the rules vague and intangible? Or do the rules point to specific happiness I can achieve or unhappiness I can avoid?
* Is it a morality I’ve accepted because “someone undoubtedly knows the reason for it”? Or is it one I’ve created because I know the reason for it?
* Is it a morality that’s currently “in style” and accepted by all those around me? Or is it a morality specifically tailored to my style?
* Is it a morality that’s aimed at me and against my self-interest? Or is it a morality that’s for me and comes from me?
37 [Helpful quote here]: “When you decide to take matters into your own hands, someone may ask you, ‘Who do you think you are? Who are you to decide for yourself in the face of society and centuries of moral teachings?’ The answer is simple: You are you, the person who will live with the consequences of what you do. No one else can be responsible, because no one else will experience the consequences of your actions as you will.”
Chapter 5: The Unselfishness Trap
39 “The Unselfishness Trap is the belief that you must put the happiness of others ahead of your own.”
39 “...we can’t avoid a very significant conclusion: Everyone is selfish. Selfishness isn’t really an issue, because everyone selfishly seeks his own happiness... Unfortunately, some people oversimplify the matter by assuming that there are only two basic means [that people will choose to achieve their happiness]: sacrifice yourself for others or make them sacrifice for you. Happily, there’s a third way that can produce better consequences than either of those two. [The author gets to this in a couple of pages: exchanges that are of mutual benefit to both parties.]
40ff On situations where you are pressured to put yourself last, to put aside your plans and desires to avoid condemnation from others. On how “the average person, most of the time, is choosing which of two or three alternatives will cause him the least discomfort” whereas the free person is choosing positively. “You’re in the Unselfishness Trap any time you make negative choices that are designed to avoid being called ‘selfish.’”
42ff Now to the author’s third alternative: Mutually beneficial relationships based on compatible desires. “No sacrifice is necessary when desires are compatible. So it makes sense to seek out people with whom you can have mutually beneficial relationships.”
44 “If someone finds happiness by doing “good works” for others, let him. That doesn’t mean that’s the best way for you to find happiness. And when someone accuses you of being selfish, just remember that he’s upset only because you aren’t doing what he selfishly wants you to do.”
Poke any saint deeply enough, and you touch self-interest.
--Irving Wallace
Chapter 6: The Group Trap
45 “The Group Trap is the belief that you can accomplish more by sharing responsibilities, efforts, and rewards with others than you can by acting on your own.” On the presumption that “in union there is strength.” On avoiding dependence on others, on not relying blindly on the kindness, efforts or competence of others. “Groups are not living entities. They don’t think or act; only individuals do. And yet, any group effort is based upon the assumption of a group purpose that overrides the individual differences of its members. It’s expected that the group will act as a single unit with a unified purpose. Only individuals think--and each one thinks in his own way.” [This is a more subtle insight than it at first appears: I think a ludic thinker (uhhh, like myself) can be trapped by thinking group's purpose is the group's ostensible purpose, because that's what the group is for (duh). But individuals can use any group for their own purposes. I started a book group years ago and was intrigued to see the various "uses" of certain members that had nothing to do with the actual purpose of a book group! Some used it for attention, some used it to "win" arguments, some confused being in a book group with actually reading the books and showing up, one person (who ultimately refused to join while maligning me as sexist) wanted to force the group to have a certain makeup, etc. None of these things is "the purpose of a book group" but yet they all came along with the purpose of a book group. This chapter goes into many such examples.]
45ff On how groups inevitably have to settle on compromise, wasting time and effort before any objective can be reached; also problems with misaligned incentives in groups, which worsen with larger groups. In groups of large enough size “the individual’s participation becomes irrelevant to the outcome.” “The more directly individual rewards are tied to individual achievements, the greater incentive there is to increase one’s individual effort.”
47 “The Group Trap is the assumption that greater strength can be achieved by sharing. Just the opposite happens: Individual objectives are watered down, time and effort are wasted in arranging compromises, and individual incentive is reduced. The individual becomes much less flexible and mobile, because he must deal with others before getting on with the task at hand. As Thoreau said, ‘The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.’”
49 Variations on the Group Trap:
* The concept of democracy, which really amounts to living under the jurisdiction of a majority.
* The assumption that you’re responsible for people who are starving in other parts of the world. “You could work for the rest of your life to change that--but your effort would never make a noticeable dent in the problem.”
50 Alternatives to the Group Trap: two categories of alternatives, direct (where you take direct action by yourself) and indirect (where you have to act to make someone else do what is necessary to achieve your objective): the example the author gives here are taxes: using the indirect method you can start a campaign to lower taxes; but using a direct method you could adopt tax efficient behaviors. Another example: you are a member of a club where the group changes rules/activities to a point where you no longer enjoy being a member: you can attempt to persuade the group to change or just leave and find a better group. “You control only yourself. ...the process of having to hope for a favorable reaction from someone else makes an indirect alternative less certain than a direct alternative. When you join a group in hopes of furthering your aims, you’re involved in an indirect alternative.”
52 [Major, major insight here]: “The recognition of the two types of alternatives [direct and indirect] is one of the most important keys to freedom. Most people automatically think in terms of indirect alternatives--who must be changed, how people must be educated, what others should be doing. Consequently, they spend most of their lives in futile efforts to achieve what can’t be achieved--the remaking of others. In any situation, a free individual immediately looks first at the identities of the other people involved and appraises the situation by the simple standard: Is this what I want for myself? If it isn’t, he looks elsewhere... He automatically thinks in terms of direct alternatives.” Also note the good example given here of a person in debt, on a financial treadmill who can’t change his financial behaviors to optimize his tax situation, thus he can only use indirect methods, he lacks other freedoms necessary to take any direct action.
52 On how these freedoms can be nested: how you have to unlock some freedoms first in order to have access to others: “In this way, one kind of freedom often depends upon the existence of other freedoms. Whichever freedom you miss most, it may be out of reach because of a lack of other freedoms.”
53 “If you’re not free now, a good deal of your present situation may be the result of restrictive relationships--business partnerships, unsound marital arrangements, misguided allegiances to friends or family. In Chapters 18 through 22 I’ll suggest ways that those objectives might be more efficiently achieved.”
Chapter 7: The Government Traps
54 “...it’s not surprising that most people turn first to government whenever they become concerned about their freedom. They assume either that the government must do something to help them be free, or that the government is obstructing their freedom. But few people have ever considered exactly what a government is--so they keep trying through government to increase their freedom without ever understanding their failures.”
54 "I think there are four basic Government Traps--popular misconceptions about the nature of government:
1. The belief that governments perform socially useful functions that deserve your support.
2. The belief that you have a duty to obey laws.
3. The belief that the government can be counted upon to carry out a social reform you favor.
4. The fear that the government is so powerful that it can prevent you from being free.
55ff Long tangent here about markets, how they reveal peoples’ preferences and peoples’ value scales, how they show what we are willing to give up to get other things, how they cause people to make choices and exchanges goods and services. Then a discussion of two-sided transactions (freely engaged in) vs one-side transactions (where force/the threat of violence is used).
59 More discussion here of government regulation/licensing, and an interesting quote: “Many people think we’re protected against dishonesty or inefficiency through government licensing and inspection requirements. But different individuals want different kinds and amounts of protection. For example, you might decide not to buy something until you’re assured that it’s what you expect--by your standards. I, on the other hand, might hire someone else to protect my interests. A third person might prefer to risk his money rather than pay the expense of having a product guaranteed. These differences between us pose no problem. Each of us can do as he chooses--trusting or not trusting the people we deal with, paying for as much or as little protection as we want. When the government intervenes, however, all of us are required to adhere to standards set by the government--and at a cost dictated by the government. Almost all of us are deprived of the choices we would have preferred.” [This is something you'd read in Milton Friedman's Free to Choose, or in Murray Rothbard's work Anatomy of the State. Also the unusual book Perpetual Traveler and its "five flags" approach to international living helps give readers a way to navigate most of these structural problems of government.]
60 “Government regulation always overrules the consumers. What consumers don’t want, they don’t have to buy; what governments don’t want, consumers can’t buy. What consumers want (protection, inspection, etc.), they can get; what the government thinks they should have, consumers are forced to take and forced to pay for. It’s important to recognize that these government decisions are not benevolent, kindly forms of advice and help. No, they are enforced by violence. If you should ever decide that your business will continue to provide what consumers want, despite government regulations, you’ll be met with violence.”
60-61 Other "vanilla libertarian" criticisms of government activity here: on programs that “pay their own way” (if they could pay their own way then it obviates the need for the public sector to do them); on government doing things without making a profit (this just means “someone’s going to have his money confiscated and invested in a government business without getting the profit he could have made investing it in the free market”), etc.
62 On why governments have such wide acceptance: 1) people believe that governments add to the general well-being, rather than reduce it. 2) They believe they’re getting more benefits from the government than they give up. [Note the quote here from Frederic Bastiat: “The State is the great fictitious entity by which everyone expects to live at the expense of everyone else.”] 3) “The last-ditch argument for government is that it’s necessary for the protection of life and property.” But the author’s point here is that we still have to do things to protect ourselves anyway! [Good point!]
63ff On the idea that without government, protection rackets and Mafias would emerge: The author fires off some good rhetoric here describing the actions of a “protection syndicate” like a Mafia and then describes how the government does the exact some thing under the guise of “protection”: forces you to pay tribute/taxes; extorts your income in the form of taxation; you’re forced to pay property taxes or what you have will be seized by force [note the comment here, citing F.A. Harper, that you don’t own your property, you rent it from your government]; it tells you how you can do your business, imposing rules and constraints on what you can sell; it even delegates certain coercive powers to labor unions to dictate what you pay or get paid; finally it can even force you into its army to fight and die on its behalf. “What could the Mafia do that would be worse?”
65ff Comments on national defense that are interesting: “No aggressor conquers a nation by overcoming every single inhabitant and occupying every part of the geographical area. It would be far too expensive to do so. Instead, the aggressor applies force against the country until the government of that nation surrenders. Then the aggressor takes over the existing governmental machinery to enforce the occupation. If no such machinery existed, how could it enforce the occupation?”... “If there were no federal government in the U.S., the Communists would have to conquer fifty different state governments--which would be far more difficult. But what if there were no state governments? Then they’d have to conquer every town separately... Obviously the answer to the threat of communism (or any other enemy) is not a stronger government to defend us but just the opposite. We’d be far safer if there were no government to conquer.”
66-7 “The prevailing European awe of the state has produced an endless number of tyrants, wars, and low standards of living. And now that generations of Americans have been taught that governments are vital to their well-being, present-day Americans are afflicted with all the problems that invariably result from big government. Such a trend has developed over many lifetimes; it won’t be reversed within ours.”
67ff Quick review/articulation of the four Government Traps:
1) The belief that governments perform socially useful functions that deserve your support. The net social effect is negative.
2) The belief that you have a duty to obey laws. “Your obedience doesn’t even perform a socially useful function; it only enhances coercion and disorder.”
3) The belief that the government can be counted upon to carry out a social reform you favor. All you have to do here is see what has resulted from prior social reform efforts and the disasters that have resulted.
4) The fear that the government is so powerful that it can prevent you from being free. Collectively “we are free to the extent that the government is inefficient and unable to carry out its coercive programs. And individually, you are free to the extent that you take advantage of the government’s inefficiency.” [The author points here to Chapter 16 for techniques for doing this.]
69 Another interesting quote here: “I don’t expect to see a world in which there would be no theft, aggression, or coercion. But it would be refreshing to live in one in which no agency of coercion had the acceptance of most of the people around me. Dealing with an agency of coercion would be much easier if you didn’t have to cope also with “law-abiding” neighbors who act as unpaid functionaries of the state.”
69 “I believe a world without ‘government’ would be a better place to live. However, that doesn’t tell me how to deal with the world in which I do live. But a realistic understanding of government keeps you out of the Government Traps. You won’t waste precious time and energy trying to work through the government to become free. Nor will you allow blind allegiance or patriotism to keep you from living your life as you want to live it. Nor will you be deterred by the government’s apparent powers.” [Again here you can see the author's method of seeing reality as it actually is, not trying to change that reality, not complaining about it, and then just navigating it the best he can. This is volitional (and non-delusional) behavior!]
Chapter 8: The Despair Trap
71ff “The Despair Trap is the belief that other people can prevent you from being free.” On how life can be alienating; on finding the right people to be around; discovering ways to bring these people into your life; “You don’t have to stay where you are. You can look for someone who doesn’t have to be forced to love you, someone who will be enthusiastic about what you have to offer, someone who will help you get what you want because it will be in his self-interest to do so.”
73 Interesting metaphor here on General Motors, on how it sells cars to 2% of the US population in any given year; the fact that this company can be huge and "successful" but yet based on what is really a tiny portion of the overall quantity of people. The point the author is making here is you want to find your own sliver of people among the huge “market” out there. “You can ignore the others… Don’t focus on indirect alternatives and think you get what you want only by changing those around you.”
74 Note the concluding quote here by David Seabury [from his book How to Worry Successfully]: “Little souls wish you to be unhappy. It aggravates them to have you joyous, efficient and free. They like to feel that fate is disciplining you. It gives their egos wings if yours are clipped. You can ruin your life in an hour by listening to their puerile opinions.”
Chapter 9: The Rights Trap
75 “The Rights Trap is the belief that your rights will make you free. It’s not hard to fall into this trap and become preoccupied with your rights as a way of getting what you want. You’ve probably heard since childhood that you have certain rights--to life, liberty, property, the freedom to pursue your happiness. In addition, it’s easy to feel that someone owes you certain things in a relationship–such as respect, honesty, or fair play. Unfortunately, rights exist only in theory.[!!! He’s right!] In practice, they don’t accomplish much--no matter how much people may discuss them.” On the idea that this is just another indirect way of achieving your objectives: you permit yourself to be dependent on other people providing something to you.
76-7 Your "right" to life has little value if someone kills you. “Obviously, it’s more effective to see to it that no one has both the intention and the opportunity to kill you.” Likewise the same logic applies to your "right" to your property: “It’s more effective to make it difficult for a thief to steal it--so that it will be in his self-interest to go elsewhere.” Also on the fact that your rights offer little protection from an adversarial government. The Constitution can’t stop politicians from ignoring it, or from the court system from reinterpreting it; Laws too: “Laws are broken, amended, repealed, overruled, ignored, and ill-enforced. They’re not very effective protectors.”
77 On your “rights” via other people: “In personal relationships, it’s easy to fall into the habit of expecting others to treat you as you think you should be treated. But that’s a form of the Identity Trap.” [Good quote follows right here]: A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything. For as long as I’d thought that there were certain things I was entitled to, I’d been wearing myself out trying to collect them. No one owes me moral conduct, respect, friendship, love, courtesy, or intelligence. And since I’ve recognized that, all my relationships have been far more satisfying. I’ve made it a point to be involved with people who want to do the very things I want them to do. That understanding has served me well in dealings with friends, business associates, lovers, sales prospects, and strangers. It constantly reminds me that I can get what I want only if I’m willing to enter the other person’s world. I have to try to understand how he thinks, what he believes to be important, what he wants.”
78 “Perhaps there are times when you feel that your rights are the only weapon you have in a dispute. If so, it usually indicates that you’ve made yourself vulnerable to someone whose self-interest conflicts with yours. It helps to remember that you are the one who put yourself in the vulnerable position.”
79 “If you’re not being treated as you want to be treated, it’s your vulnerability that must be changed. You could spend the rest of your life trying to educate the others, to change their natures and values, to get them to respect your rights. But you probably wouldn’t succeed. It always makes more sense to concentrate on the direct alternatives--the things you do control.”
79 The author gives an example of his milk delivery being stolen off his porch: he can become bitter and feel the thief had no right to steal from him; he could deliver an oratory cursing thieves and annoy his neighbors, but none of these things will get back his milk: “The only area of interest is that which I control. I’ve decided to risk theft by having the milk bottles left on the front porch. And I can decide to continue that risk or have the milk handled in some other way. If I concentrate on the thief’s immorality or on my rights, I’m probably leaving myself vulnerable to another theft. But if I use what I control to make new arrangements, I can see to it that the theft isn’t repeated--and that should be my major concern.”
Chapter 10: The Utopia Trap
81 “The Utopia Trap is the belief that you must create better conditions in society before you can be free. While you’re doing this, you obviously give up a great deal of time and other resources that could have been used to enjoy life. But it’s assumed that once the proper overhaul of society is completed, you’ll be able to live more freely.” The problem here is 1) this is another indirect approach, and 2) it isn’t even necessary. “An individual doesn’t need to live in a free society in order to free himself--and when he tries to change the world, he’s in for a lot more trouble than he may have bargained for.”
81ff Discussion here on the true scope of bringing about social change: we have our own misconceptions about the world; peoples’ worldviews are way different; it’s nearly impossible for you to influence people; major changes only take place when millions of people are ready to make them; it’s a mistake to even assume some overhaul of “the system” will fix things; etc.
85 “In many ways, a social structure that appears at a distance to be governed objectively by certain clear and fair principles will, in reality, be composed of human beings who’ll apply those principles subjectively. And that, of course, is what we have already. In fact, that kind of system has always existed--no matter what name it may bear.”
85 “No matter where or when you live, you’ll still have to deal with people different from you. You’ll have to cope with people who don’t want you to have what you want, and who’ll try to take from you what you have... That doesn’t mean that one society can’t be a happier place for you to live than another. There are differences, and it makes sense to consider living in the society whose rules most nearly coincide with the way you want to live. That’s a direct alternative. It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards.”
86 On how the Utopia Trap is just like the Group Trap in that your actions “probably won’t affect the outcome one way or the other.”
86-7 “If you’re not free now, it isn’t because you haven’t done enough to change the world. Quite the contrary, it may be that you’ve been doing too much to try to change the world. The effort you’ve expended in that direction could have been used to provide freedom for yourself... The only clear path to freedom is through direct alternatives--decisions that don’t require that you influence others. Direct alternatives always exist, and they’re almost always far more effective than indirect alternatives. There are hundreds--thousands--of ways to be free when you concentrate upon the power you have. But you can’t see them if you’re occupied trying to change others.”
87 “The world-changers are powerless. They dream of remaking the world; but since they can’t, they’ve placed their emphasis where they have no power at all. Free people recognize that they can’t change the world, and so they concentrate on the power they do have--which is enormous. They realize that they can choose not to be involved in situations that don’t suit them. So they look for those situations that do suit them. And they discover far more opportunities for such situations than most people imagine exist.”
88 [Note this excellent, humility-inducing quote from Herbert Spencer]: “When I remember how many of my private schemes have miscarried; how speculations have failed, agents proved dishonest, marriage been a disappointment; how I did but pauperize the relative I sought to help; how my carefully governed son has turned out worse than most children; how the thing I desperately strove against as a misfortune did me immense good; how while the objects I ardently pursued brought me little happiness when gained, most of my pleasures have come from unexpected sources; when I recall these and hosts of like facts, I am struck with the incompetence of my intellect to prescribe for society.” [Essentially, avoiding the "Utopia Trap" is a wonderful (and necessary) exercise in epistemic humility.]
Chapter 11: The Burning-Issue Trap
89 “The Burning-Issue Trap is the belief that there are compelling social issues that require your participation.” On how every issue seems important but when you take a broader perspective you realize that politicians and the media shovel “issues” on us all the time. “But how could you possibly become involved in all of them? And if you could, what would become of your freedom? How can you be free when you’re burdened with a responsibility to right the world’s wrongs?”
91 Interesting examples here on different “issues” like pesticides: the US Dept of Agriculture pressured farmers into using them in the first place, creating a problem that later became an “issue.” Also a good question to ask yourself if you are succumbing to group pressure to get involved in an issue, or if you are getting involved in the issue in order to appear unselfish, etc.
91-2 On solving an “issue” using either direct or indirect action. The example the author uses here is sexism: do you need to change the world or do you need to find one (non-sexist) employer or one (non-sexist) partner to meet your needs? Other examples: “Are you appalled by protest and violence on college campuses? Then don’t send your child to a college where such things happen. Don’t expect to change the attitudes of students; their motives are their own.”
94 “Ask yourself what you’d do if you were sure you couldn’t change the attitudes of others. What then would you do by yourself to keep the problem from affecting you? If you approach it on that basis, you usually find that there are many more direct alternatives available than you’d noticed while you were busy trying to change others... So you have a choice: should you involve yourself in efforts to advance or retard the change--where your efforts will make little difference--or should you simply make any personal adjustments necessary as the changes take place?”
95 “Burning issues are always presented in terms that make it appear that your freedom is at stake. Well, it is. If you’re lured into devoting your precious life to the resolution of social problems, that can end your freedom. You’ll carry the burden of responsibility for all the problems of the world.”
Chapter 12: The Previous-Investment Trap
96 “The Previous-Investment Trap is the belief that time, effort, and money spent in the past must be considered when making a decision in the present.” [Basically this is the sunk cost fallacy.] Staying with a failed relationship, sticking with a losing stock, etc. “It’s as if he were saying, ‘If I change now, those years were wasted; but if I stay where I am, those years (somehow) were good.’”
97 “You’re in the Previous-Investment Trap whenever you allow what you’ve expended in the past to be a determining factor when deciding what to do in the future. Learn from the past, but never feel you have to justify a past investment by hanging on to it.” Note also the comments here on recognizing your mistakes early and getting away from them before they compound.
Chapter 13: The Box Trap
99 “...the Box Trap is the assumption that the cost of getting out of a bad situation is too great to consider. It’s easy to slip into a box and just as easy to stay there.” You stay in the box because “it is unthinkable to try to get out of it.” “The Box Trap is the vague feeling that the box must be accepted because there’s no way out.”
100 “A key to good decision-making is the ability to recognize what you’re giving up when you choose something. It’s obvious that you can’t have everything you desire. But often, when choosing to do something, you can overlook the desirable things that you’ll have to forego because of the choice you’re making.” [Yes! Everything you do, everything you buy, displaces something else. Just thinking about this displacement is a superpower.]
100 “In effect, a box is any situation that restrains your freedom. As long as you stay in it, you suffer a discomfort of some kind and you forego other alternatives that are more desirable to you. “The box could be a bad marriage, an unpleasant occupation, a debt for something of no value to you, or a social obligation of some kind. A box can also be the problems involved in maintaining an image or reputation that isn’t genuinely yours--such as having to watch what you say. You’re in the Box Trap if you tolerate any such situation by assuming there’s no way out of it.”
101ff Getting out of boxes: the author goes over examples here of imagining the box clearly, rather than being vague about the problem, understanding what to do to get out fo the box, and then what the price is you’d have to pay to get out of the box. Then think about what might happen next, what possibilities might open up, what things you might lose, etc. Also on mentally going through the experience multiple times if it is painful to imagine. “With this, you will have identified clearly the three elements of your situation: (1) what you’re paying by remaining where you are; (2) what it would cost you to get out; and (3) what you could do once you’re out.” As long as the situation is just a hazy problem with no solution, it can always seem easier to let things continue unchanged--as uncomfortable as it may be. But when you recognize what it’s costing you to stay in the box and what you could do if you were out of it, you gain new incentive to do something about it.”
104 On “paying the price”: when you experience some discomfort, what would be the “price” [The author is speaking metaphorically here: sometimes there is a price in the sense of money, but many times the price takes non-monetary form] to be rid of it? “Once you get into the habit of looking for prices, you’ll realize that any irritant in your life can be handled. You’ll no longer tolerate that slow, chronic discomfort that eats away at you daily--destroying your incentive, making you think less of yourself, darkening your attitude toward the world.” Also the sooner you handle it the easier it is to be rid of it: “As long as a situation continues, you pay a price just knowing that the situation is unresolved. And the longer a situation continues, the firmer other people become in their attitude that you have no right to initiate a change.” [The healthiest boundaries are established early and often!]
105 On focusing, as always, on direct alternatives, even if you feel someone else is to blame. You still have to convince someone else to do something! Instead, you pay the price to be rid of the discomfort/situation.
105 “So many people live in chains of their own making. They cry out for freedom from political policies they don’t like; they complain about the villains who prevent them from being free. And all the time they voluntarily tolerate boxes that reduce their freedom of action by 20 to 50% or more... But if freedom is so important to them, why don’t they remove the chains that are within reach?” “As I mentioned in Chapter 10, you’re often prevented from using an attractive alternative in one area because you’re restricted in another. When you’re no longer deep in debt or stifled for time by bad relationships, you can take advantage of the many alternatives available to get rid of high taxes and political repression.” [Sometimes your freedoms are nested: you have to find one in order to find others. A lot of the time it starts with getting off the financial treadmill and getting yourself out of debt servitude.]
105 “The Box Trap is the assumption that there’s no way out of a box. There’s always a way, always a price you can pay to be rid of it once and for all. Find it and pay it.”
Chapter 14: The Certainty Trap
107 The Certainty Trap is the urge to act as if your information were totally certain. You’re in the trap if you make decisions without recognizing the uncertainty of your assumptions and the risk that goes with that.” [This is a helpful section on epistemic humility, learning to live without epistemic certainty, learning to tolerate the discomfort of non-knowing, as well as avoiding the trap of pseudocertainty--thinking you know when you don't.]
107 “It’s a normal urge to want to believe that one has the final answers to things. Certainty is a more comfortable feeling than uncertainty.” [The ability to sit with uncertainty, to not decide something, and to live with flexible adaptable plans... these things are superpowers!]
107ff “The individual who ignores these risks [of the limits of your information] can lose his freedom in three important ways:
1. He’s likely to take risks that would be unacceptable if he were to recognize them; and by acting rashly he can get himself into boxes that restrict his freedom.
2. When things don’t go his way, his previous certainty can turn quickly to despair and depression; after all, he was “so sure.” Now that he’s discouraged, his emotions can tempt him to run from his bad consequences into a worse situation. In other words, he’s fallen into the Emotional Trap.
3. By accepting opinions as absolute fact, he can allow his freedom to be restricted by information that may not be true.
108 “The desire for certainty can cause you to try to have an explanation for everything that happens.” [This is another subtle but very important point: people need to have narratives for things. You have to stay non-attached to narrative explanations because they impact your ability to see reality accurately.]
109ff On accepting verbatim the information that’s handed us from others. See: experts, science, scripture, etc. ”Information-providers can make mistakes, too.” “...it’s best to accept all judgments with reservations.”
111 “The essence of the Certainty Trap is to disregard risks by overestimating the certainty of the information upon which you base your decisions. Taking risks is an inherent part of life; it’s only dangerous when you act as though you’re not taking a risk.”
112ff Suggestions to avoid the Certainty Trap:
1. “Popularity isn’t proof” “What ‘everybody knows’ has been so obviously wrong so many times that I don’t need to fill this book with evidence of it.” [Fade the crowd, fade consensus, fade the masses. It almost always works with investing and quite often it works in any life domain.]
2. Be skeptical about new information.
3. Don’t expect to have an explanation for everything. “...never lose sight of the possibility that the system may not be exactly as you see it now.”
4. Recognize that you’re seeing only part of what’s involved; you can’t see everything.
5. Recognize the risks and liabilities.
113 “The individual who plows ahead unswervingly because he ‘knows’ he’s right is usually wrong. And when he runs head on into the brick wall he was so sure wouldn’t be there, his losses are greater than those of the person who was more cautious.” On knowing you are always taking some risk and things can go against you; automatically assume some risk is out there, this mindset means you won’t be as exposed to a risk as the person confidently blind to it.
114 Interesting and perceptive quote here, we all know people like this: “The overconfident person approaches things as if he were acting with absolute certainty. But because he’s being unrealistic, he wastes his resources by taking foolish risks. He throws away his freedom by rashly jumping into boxes. He often follows a code of conduct that’s inappropriate to his nature because he’s so sure he’s received some absolute word on the subject.
“When he runs into trouble, it’s such a contradiction to his attitude that it usually causes emotional problems. He often reacts to his disaster by leaping to conclusions opposite to what he held before. Either he was ‘all wrong’ before, but ‘absolutely right’ now--or he declares that the world is malevolent or incoherent."
114 On accepting things as they are: “When you accept the presence of uncertainty, you can usually relax and enjoy life more. You don’t feel that you have to have a final answer for everything.”
115 On various traps of expert authority: “Many people go through life with the feeling that what they think and know are sort of summations of what they’ve absorbed from those who ‘really’ know things. This attitude is encouraged, of course, by those who are supposed to be the ones who ‘really’ know--moral authorities, experts, people who are ‘older and wiser,’ people who are on the ‘inside.’ They speak with convincing authority.” Note that “experts” or authorities might know more than you, but they don’t know you and your needs, capacities, proclivities, etc. You are the only person who can know these things, ”far better than anyone else can. This is why you have to filter information before taking it into your system of doing things. You have to judge how sensibly the information fits with the way you see the world, how compatibly the action suggested fits with your nature and capabilities, how happy you might be if you lived in the way suggested... Even if you’d like to delegate that responsibility to someone else, you can’t.”
115 “It’s important to recognize that you are the final authority--whether or not you choose to be, whether or not you have the confidence to assume the role. The role is yours, regardless. You are the sovereign authority for your life... Once you know that the responsibility begins and ends with you, you start treating information more carefully, you act more deliberately, and you get results that more directly bring you what you need to be happy.”
116 “When you no longer count on other people to be “right,” to be certain, to be moral, to be intelligent, you’ll turn to the one source of genuine power that exists for you--yourself.”
“If a man begins with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content with doubts he shall end in certainties.
–Francis Bacon
Chapter 15: You Can Be Free
117 Comments here on how “accepting your programming” means you live by someone else’s dictates, not your own; you allow the world to act on you.
118 Interesting implied moral framework here: “If I were totally convinced that “society’s rules” were well founded, sensible, and truly furthered society’s interests, I would still refuse to give up my identity and my happiness for them. For how could I value society if I must sacrifice myself for it?” [He makes a good point here and then makes an even stronger point that most of these “rules” cause despair, are silly, are cliches, etc.] “...it would be foolish to accept them without challenge.”
119 Another interesting epistemic framework here on making life understandable: "I find that when I integrate everything I see around two basic principles, it all makes perfect sense:
(1) Each person seeks his own mental well-being (happiness); and
(2) Everything that happens is the effect of a prior cause. When you don’t understand a situation, it helps to stand back for a minute, think of each person involved, and ask yourself, ‘What is he trying to do? How does he believe he’s furthering his own well-being?’ That can make his actions much more understandable and predictable. It doesn’t matter whether his conduct is right or wrong. That’s what he’s doing.”
119 [Good reminder here] “As you view the identities of others, you make it far easier on yourself if you accept them as they are.”
199ff On accepting the concept of self-sovereignty: how it is all too easy to assume “your future will be decided by others, that your purpose in life is to serve society, your country, or the world--as determined by others.” “You are the sovereign ruler who has chosen which city to live in, which job to take, which people to associate with, which rules to live by. Others may have made requests--even demands-but it was you who made the decisions regarding your actions.” [This is a more subtle argument than it at first appears, it’s easy to strawman what he writes here and call it "self-importance" or "selfishness" when in reality he is counseling you to pay close attention to the types of things we are encouraged or told to do by others; also he is talking about taking ownership of what you’ve done in the past too in terms of giving your power away to others.]
120 “But if you choose to recognize your own sovereignty, you’ll probably think it ridiculous to grant others the responsibility for your success or failure. A free person would never consider it sensible to allocate the credit or blame for his life to others... He would never consider the possibility that his life is only what others decide to make it.”
121 On how your freedom results from the acceptance of your sovereignty: “Every person is the sovereign ruler of his own life. But few people ever recognize that fact. Those who do will make it their business to find freedom. Those who don’t will invariably resign themselves to whatever ‘society’ makes available to them.” Or on the contra-idea of “delegating” your power, giving it away to someone else or an institution to tell you what to do.
121 “You don’t have to reconstruct the social order; you don’t have to overpower the villains; you don’t have to re-educate the world; you don’t need a miracle. All you have to do is to use your sovereign power of choice to release yourself from those who would keep you in bondage.”
122 “There are people who will want you to be yourself, people who see things as you do, people who want the same things you want. Why should you have to waste your life in a futile effort to please those with whom you aren’t compatible? To be free, you have only to make the decision to be free.” [I think a passive reader here, in denial about all the traps we set for ourselves and all the instances where we needlessly give away our power, will reject the idea that you only have to "make a decision to be free." Technically he would be right: that decision is only the first step: then the real work begins to reshape your life such that you have more sovereignty.]
123 “There’s still work to be done--perhaps a lot of it. You’ll need specific techniques to get you out of the traps and boxes without sacrificing your future to do it. You’ll need alternatives so that you can avoid taxes without going to jail, live your own life without having to be lonely, dissolve uncomfortable relationships with a minimum of emotional upheaval. Most of the rest of the book will be devoted to those techniques.”
124
Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control,
These three alone lead to sovereign power.
–Alfred Lord Tennyson
Part II: How You Can Be Free
Chapter 16: Freedom From Government
126ff Comments here on the impressions we have of the government being all-powerful; note also the impression we all have from Orwell’s 1984 where everyone’s life was controlled; but in reality the government has limited resources, it is a bureaucratic mess, etc; “The government is one big Group Trap. To be efficient, it depends upon millions of bureaucrats whose incomes and careers don’t depend upon efficient action.”
127 Three rules for dealing with government:
1) “The first principle in dealing with government, then, is: Don’t be awed by it.” It requires the voluntary participation of citizens.
2) “The second principle is: Don’t confront the government.” “...it will certainly aim its power at anyone who publicly defies it.” [For a good example, see the life arc of Irwin Schiff, Peter Schiff's father. The US government destroyed him in response to his public and legal efforts to criticize the tax system.]
3) “The third rule in dealing with government is: Don’t organize." “...mass campaigns are easy targets. That’s where the government is likely to devote its limited resources. When many people are doing the same thing, it’s easy to stop them by passing laws or by applying existing laws against them. When you act alone, however, you’re usually not worth the trouble.”
128 “No cumbersome, bureaucratic government can move as fast as an individual who’s determined to stay ahead of it.” The author shares a story here where he fired all is employees and then rehired them all as external contractors; it saved everybody taxes, in fact his employees took home more money with this structure.
130 “Licenses and regulations can be avoided by using a little imagination. There are plenty of psychologists who are unlicensed and unregulated because they don’t call themselves psychologists.” Other examples here: ways to legally avoid jury duty, to legally avoid the draft; avoiding court procedures by using arbitration agreements or private marital agreements, etc.
131 “Sooner or later you’ll have to make a decision regarding your willingness to obey laws. There’s a normal reluctance to break laws. You can easily feel that you’re contributing to the decay of your country, or that you’re making yourself vulnerable.” The author gives a highly persuasive example here of capital controls in Cuba: “there are thousands of once-rich Cubans who wish today that they’d been willing to commit the crime of sending their funds out of Cuba before the government confiscated them. …They failed to realize that no government obeys laws. It will change, overrule, ignore, or defy them whenever they get in its way. To count on the law to protect you is a grave mistake.”
131-2 On knowing all the consequences of breaking a law, including the stress to yourself! Example here of owning gold (before it was re-legalized in 1974): “In fact, to the best of my knowledge, no American has ever been fined or sent to jail for owning gold. If the gold is kept outside the country, it can’t even be confiscated. The few cases of governmental action have been against large companies, where millions of dollars’ worth of gold were involved.” [This isn't quite true: there was at least one individual that the US government jailed, although I don't recall the details.]
133 other examples, including a good one here about a really creative method of avoiding compulsory schooling laws: a person registered at two schools, got transfer forms from each of them, and then just never went. Nobody noticed! Also on starting a business: “If you want to start a new business, don’t go looking for all the licenses and regulations you’re supposed to observe. Just operate. Try to arrange your business so that you can contact your prospects without public fanfare--and you may never come to the attention of the authorities. But if you do, the worst that could happen is that you’ll have to do what you would have done at the outset anyway.”
134 “My life is less cluttered so long as I simply avoid the government wherever possible. …And, too, I see no reason to wage war against the government. Its employees are simply doing what each thinks best for himself--just as I’m doing for myself. Our methods may be different, but each of us is seeking his own happiness. So I see no reason to be indignant over new or old laws, no reason to campaign against injustice or inefficiency, no reason to waste my life fighting something that’s always been here and probably always will be.”
134 “How you will deal with the government will be up to you. My observations have been mentioned only to illustrate the kinds of decisions one needs to consider in evaluating his relationship with the government.”
134 On when the government calls on the people to sacrifice, on how these calls can be compelling with social pressure, etc. “I don’t believe you do anything for your country by fighting in a war (any war), giving up your money, or sacrificing in any way.”
135 “Don’t be awed by the government. Don’t confront it directly. Don’t organize. If you act on your own, legally or illegally, there’s a great deal you can do to be free of the government. And there’s no reason to feel ashamed, unpatriotic, wicked, or guilty about it.”
Chapter 17: Freedom from Social Restrictions
137 On the idea that society is a non-entity: “It has no mind, no interests, no motivations. It is simply a collection of many different individuals who have different minds, interests, and motivations. So ‘society’ can’t restrain you.” “...there is no such thing as a ‘safe’ code of conduct--one that would earn everyone’s approval. Your actions can always be condemned by someone...” Also note the comments here on finding people who want you to be as you are.
138 “Whatever your personal standards, the best place to find like-minded people is the same place where you would most like to be.” “And since you could also run into potential friends almost anywhere, it’s important to display your standards openly and honestly wherever you are. Only then can others recognize you as a kindred soul. For if you wear a ‘socially acceptable’ mask, those whom you seek will walk right by you. And those whom you do attract with the mask will only add to the pressure that you be something other than yourself.” [Good points!] “If you make your own actions consistent with the standards you really admire, you’ll know which people are compatible--just by their reactions to you.”
138 “...hiding your identity offers nothing but more restrictions. I think that many people hide their identity, tolerate restrictions, and remain in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being lonely. But I wonder what they mean by ‘lonely.’ Aren’t they very lonely when they deal with people who don’t understand and appreciate them? I know I’d be lonely in such a situation.”
140 On finding others: “...the best way to find those people is to advertise what you really are. ...you have to be willing to accept the disapproval of those you aren’t seeking. It takes courage to overcome the embarrassment, self-consciousness, and even ridicule that might result from honest exposure of your nature--at first.”
141 “Being yourself is actually a skill… Advertising is a skill, too.” “Good advertising isn’t flashy or imposing. Simply learn to reveal your qualities as they are appropriate to the situation. Let your differences be brought out in conversations--without urging your uniqueness on others.”
142 [Interesting comments here on basically using a "blue-ocean strategy" by being honest about yourself]: “There’s no one in the world exactly like you. And when you find the market that wants what you are, your position is as solid as you could ever hope for. You have a natural monopoly in that market--one that exists just because of what you are and requires no artificial devices to limit competition. When you fight to compete with the crowd, competition is all around you and there’s no way you can keep it out. But when you emphasize what you are, your market won’t want anyone but you.”
144 [Interesting insight here on detecting if you feel any pressure on you in social situation]: the author gives an example of feeling intellectual pressures from a social group, saying that pressure may indicate “you haven’t yet accurately identified your own beliefs and standards.”
Chapter 18: Freedom from Bad Relationships
145 “The biggest problem probably stems from the ease with which you can label a relationship and then, in effect, treat the individual as if he were the label. One is called a ‘friend’ or ‘partner’ or ‘lover’ or ‘wife.’ And the labels imply subtle expectations concerning the role the person is expected to play in your life.”
146 “Relationships can be fruitful only when they’re in the self-interest of each person. Unfortunately, the normal labels and assumptions go far beyond that--and so problems develop. In this chapter, we’ll explore the general principles that can keep good relationships from falling apart. And in the next four chapters, we’ll apply those principles to love affairs, family situations, and businesses.”
146-7 Three principles that keep good relationships from falling apart:
1. Don’t think in terms of groups. (see the Group Trap: “groups don’t think, act, or have motivations; only individuals do.”)
2. Limit the relationship to what you have in common. (“Don’t expect more from the relationship than what is in the self-interest of each person involved.”) [This is a subtle insight worth rolling over in your mind.]
3. Don’t attempt to perpetuate a relationship by contract. (“Change is inevitable. ...Any relationship should last only as long as it’s beneficial to each party. ...And it won’t be possible for him to satisfy the needs of anyone else in the relationship if he’s acting out of duty and not enthusiasm.”)
147 “The three principles are saying, in effect, don’t make an institution of a relationship. Don’t add inappropriate activities to it, don’t try to fit it within a traditional context, don’t add duties and obligations to it that are irrelevant to the desires of the people involved. Let the relationship evolve as it will--as mutual self-interest leads it.” [I guess I would think of this as "let the relationship proceed organically, don't force it, don't fit it into a box, etc. Let it be how it is.]
147 “Relationships are only means to the ends desired by each of the people involved; when the ends are no longer served, the relationship should end.” [On one level this sounds harsh, it seems disloyal somehow, but the author has a point. I think this is a type of boundary issue where you might cut a long relationship more slack... but not infinite slack.]
147 Also in commercial situations where you need a contract, make sure you have an option or a provision for early termination including a cash payoff or some method to exit the relationship. [Maintaining optionality for both parties.]
149 On taking things as they are: you have a friend for intellectual discussions, don’t expect him to move your furniture or lend you money! “Those things are separate parts of your life, not a part of his. ...If the relationship grows and seems to be broadening, approach each new area of mutual interest on its own merits.” [Again, if it "broadens" organically, naturally, without being forced, let it.]
150 “Perhaps the three principles can be summed up as one important principle: Let others be free. Don’t try to tie them down with obligations, loyalties, duties, commitments, or appeals for sympathy. Make it your policy that you don’t expect anyone to do what isn’t in his self-interest. Don’t try to restrict your lover’s activities. Don’t try to make your spouse give up his interests for you. Don’t give your friends reason to feel that you expect anything from them but what is in their self-interest to give. If you let others be free, you’ll be a rare person--and a valuable one. You’ll be in demand because you won’t create the conflicts and arguments that so many people have had from others.” [This last pair of sentences is extremely interesting. He's right!]
Chapter 19: Freedom from Marriage Problems
151 On the passive acceptance of labels and cultural dogmas: “Love, closeness, affection, family opportunities--all these things can be enjoyed without having to build elaborate, restrictive structures that destroy the independence of everyone concerned.” [Again, he makes a great point: why do we have to autonomically follow all these rules and conventions without at the very least thinking about them and questioning them?]
152ff On the presumed reasons for getting married and then “how the objectives of a marriage can be better achieved without a marriage.” The author goes over a hypothetical love relationship here, reminds the reader of the three principles from the last chapter: “Don’t assume that your separate selves will no longer exist because you’re in love; don’t try to force interests that aren’t mutual into the relationship; and don’t attempt to perpetuate it by contract.”
155 “It’s especially important to keep things in perspective when you’re consumed by love. It’s a wonderful, fascinating emotion–which means it can be harder to make decisions with a clear recognition of the consequences. Enjoy the present to the maximum, but be careful about committing your future. And a common example of the Emotional Trap is to commit one’s future in an unrealistic way because of the love one feels in the present.” On not changing a love relationship into something else. On limiting that relationship “to matters of love--not finance, household affairs, compromised interests, or duties” or taking “on a number of irrelevant obligations that have nothing to do with what you really want from each other.”
156ff On the “non-marriage”: “to continue the relationship as it was before.”
157 “It is vital that each person continue to know that his life is of his own making--that he can choose for himself without being vulnerable to the different decision-making methods of someone else. If one person must be dependent upon the decisions of the other, he’s involved in an indirect alternative. He must ‘make the other understand’ or compromise or sacrifice. His freedom is lost through the Group Trap.”
157 “The non-marriage recognizes the sovereignty of each person. In a non-marriage, no one expects anyone else to act in any way but in his own self-interest.”
157 On property: “This means you retain your own property, your own income, and make your own decisions. There’s no need for joint decisions, because each decision will primarily concern one person and only incidentally the other. It’s just as unrealistic to merge your property as it is to try to merge your minds. And property is very important. The control of your own property is the most tangible expression of your freedom... Only when you can control your time and property with direct alternatives are you free. If you must compromise your control by gaining someone else’s agreement to use it, you don’t really own it.” [This author, writing in the 1970s, probably had no idea how anticipatory he would be with the modern era's "divorce-industrial complex."]
158 “If each party to a relationship continues to be sovereign and control his own property--and to respect the same for the other person--most of the typical problems of marriage will never arise.”
158 The author shares an (admittedly idiosyncratic) example here of a “sub-landlord” arrangement with spouses, where one person supplies the house or apartment and rents to the other (!): “..if you can’t agree upon a price, then you wouldn’t have been able to agree how much money to spend if you had pooled your assets... if differences show up in this type of arrangement, they would have shown up anyway [hmmm, good point!]. And this way, the differences can be handled much more openly, with a greater chance to be resolved without lingering resentments.” [While I’m not sure I’d want to be in a relationship with this guy, he certainly makes some very thought-provoking points.]
159 “If you respect the sovereignty of your lover, you’ll approach each new arrangement in the way you would with an outsider--with full respect for the other’s self-interest.” Also: “Just ask yourselves what you would do if you weren’t living together, and that will probably suggest a simple solution.”
159 “There is only one rule in a non-marriage: Don’t ask either person to sacrifice his sovereignty... Other than that, there’s no guidebook. What others choose to do might be best for them; but you’ll have to determine what’s best for you.”
161 On sacrifice: “And none of this involves sacrifice or compromise. Why so many people think a happy marriage is based upon sacrifice, I’ll never know. Life is to be lived, not sacrificed. You love someone because of the way he makes you feel, because of the way he enhances your life. If what you are doesn’t do the same for him, no amount of sacrifice is going to make things right.”
161-2 More idiosyncratic ideas from the author on handling already-existing marriages:
1. Terminate the legal contract--so that you have a two-way relationship instead of a three-way contract with the government. That means getting a divorce--which is only a legal formality.
2. Divide the property so that each thing is owned by one person or the other, thus recognizing individual sovereignty and removing the need for most joint decisions. Several ways to do this are described in Chapter 31.
3. Do everything possible to make it easy for each of you to be totally honest with the other. That will be the hardest part but also the most rewarding. Self-interests can’t be served if they can’t be expressed. Once you’re free to discuss everything openly and unashamedly, problems should be much more easily resolved.
Chapter 20: Freedom from Jealousy Problems
[This chapter grooves a lot of the ideas of Brad Blanton's striking book Radical Honesty.]
165 “First, it’s important to emphasize that jealousy is an emotion--an involuntary response to something that happens. There’s no reason to be ashamed of it, to try to suppress it, or to deny it.”
166 “Jealousy and restrictions are two different things. One doesn’t necessarily follow the other. You can be jealous--openly and honestly--without imposing restrictions upon your lover.” [It's consistently fascinating how the author untangles and separates assumptions that we typically automatically lump together to the point where we don't even see the connection. He sees the connection and "disconnects" it (i.e., yes, you can be jealous and not ashamed of it; no, you do not have to therefore impose restrictions because of that jealousy); we don't see the fact that there's a connection at all, and thus are surrendering freedoms we could otherwise have.]
167 “This, of course, brings us to the question of fidelity. You have to decide how free each person is to associate with others... Be realistic when you decide such things. Don’t try to be something you’re not; recognize your own emotional nature and self-interest. If you pick a standard determined by someone else, you’ll probably have problems.”
168ff Ideas here on not putting restrictions on your partner, accepting feelings of jealousy, etc.
Chapter 21: Freedom from Family Problems
172ff The author uses an interesting framework here for child raising here, saying that marriage is not necessary; that it's better that one parent take the vast majority of responsibility for child raising; that the child then never has to suffer from conflicting sources of authority when his parents disagree. [It's an interesting way to look at this.] “How much simpler for everyone concerned if one person has the major responsibility and sets the main plans for the child’s upbringing.”
174ff On raising a sovereign child: note the very interesting long quote here: “The child should have his own world where he is clearly the sovereign. That means a room of his own that is subject to his control alone. If he doesn’t take care of it, he’ll learn the consequences of that sooner or later. But if he’s forced to keep it as his parents wish, he’ll never discover for himself the consequences of alternative courses of action.
"He should also have other property to use in whatever way he chooses. Property isn’t owned if it can be used only in ‘approved’ ways. You’ll have to decide how he’ll obtain his property. He can earn it, receive an allowance, get outright gifts, or he can receive property in any combination of these ways.
"But once he receives something, it’s important that he learn to understand what it means to own something and be responsible for its preservation. He shouldn’t be taught to expect automatic replacement of any property he might destroy.
"The importance of his sense of ownership can be seen by observing the difficulties many adults have in dealing with the world. For close to two decades, most people are led to believe that they aren’t sovereign. Then, suddenly, they’re thrust out into the world and expected to make far-reaching decisions concerning their lives. It’s no wonder that they have difficulty foreseeing the consequences of their actions and fall back on any authority that appears to be competent to make decisions for them. I believe the child will be far better equipped to face the world if he understands how the world operates right from the beginning.”
176ff Various cautions from the author about bringing a child into a marriage and understanding all the consequences and ramifications.
179ff On relatives: “There appears to be an unwritten law that blood is thicker than self-interest. One supposedly has a duty to value his blood relatives--simply because they’re relatives. This means, for openers, that you owe something to your parents. And then you have a multitude of responsibilities to anyone else who happens to be in the family tree by accident of birth. If your cousin has a heart attack, you might be expected to chip in for the hospital bill. Or if your uncle lives in the same city as you do, you might be expected to curtail some of your own activities so as not to embarrass ‘the family.’” The author is borderline amazed by this attitude, writing "my family has never imposed these kinds of burdens upon me.” He returns to his central philosophy: “To be responsible for someone who happens to have been born into the same family doesn’t make sense. Any relationship that isn’t based upon mutual self-interest is bound to have poor consequences.”
180 On parents making claims or demands on children, to the point where “As a result, the child can carry a vague, indefinite and--for all practical purposes--infinite debt. He’s never wholly free to plan his own future without potential interference from his parents.” All of this is usually done most effectively using the weapon of guilt.
181ff On handling guilt: as it is an emotion, you’ll never be fully rid of it. “You’re going to feel guilty even if you do most of what’s asked of you.” “And you might be amazed at how quickly the negative feelings [of guilt] can be alleviated by the rewards of your independence--and even just by the feeling of independence.” “If you feel imprisoned by your parents or relatives, it is you who must make the move to be free. No one else is going to bestow your freedom upon you.” [One very powerful phrase I learned during the entire COVID preposterousness was "you cannot comply your way to freedom."]
182 Reiterating one of the main themes of the book right here: “You are an individual, not part of a group. Your relationship with anyone should be confined to those areas that are mutually beneficial. And no relationship should have a lifetime contract implied in it. You will decide for yourself what you’ll do with your life. You can choose the indirect alternative of trying to please others by your actions. Or you can choose the direct alternatives and live your life as you want to live it.”
Chapter 22: Freedom from Business Problems
184ff On partnerships as a form of the Group Trap; whenever you do a 50/50 split you can’t perfectly split the value you each produce; “If a relationship is structured so that each person has his own area of responsibility over which he has complete control, most of the typical headaches of business can be eliminated.” The author suggests contracting out what you need, not partnering up front. “You don’t have to acquire partners or employees. You simply contract with people to provide whatever you need.”
187 Three basic principles for a compensation system:
"1. Deal with each individual on an individual basis. Make sure his compensation is dependent only upon his own value to you.
2. Contract only for what you want. Determine what results you want from someone and pay for those results only. If he delivers, you needn’t worry about how he uses his time–that’s not your concern.
3. Don’t attempt to perpetuate a relationship by contract. If any contracts are necessary, make them for the shortest practical period of time, with ways of terminating with relatively short notice. Try to avoid any situation in which you or anyone else is obligated to perform services beyond the time in which it’s in his self-interest to do so. You won’t get good value when the individual no longer wants to be involved.”
Chapter 23: Freedom from Insecurity
190 “The three forms of security most often sought are financial security (the assurance that one will never be poor), intellectual security (the assurance that one is right in his beliefs), and emotional security (the assurance that one will always be loved). ...Unfortunately, though, most people look for security where it can’t be found--and in the process they become even more insecure. They hope that someone outside themselves can guarantee security and end their need to be concerned about it. But all they do is make themselves more vulnerable, and hence more insecure, by becoming dependent upon someone else.”
190 “Security comes from your ability to deal with the world, not from a guarantee by someone else. When you know you’re capable of dealing with whatever comes, you have the only security the world has to offer. And your ability to deal with the world depends upon three assets: self-reliance, vigilance, and honesty with yourself.”
190 On self-reliance: “to be self-reliant is to recognize that no one else is as concerned about your future as you are and that no one knows as much about you as you do.”
On vigilance: “...the secure individual is always mentally prepared for changes and surprises.”
On honesty with yourself: “To be honest with yourself means to acknowledge mistakes as they become known... The individual who can’t acknowledge his mistakes will remain vulnerable and be doomed to repeat them.”
191 On financial security: “Naturally, it’s helpful to utilize the information provided by people who specialize in various fields and to use the services they offer. But it’s a mistake to think that those people know everything necessary, or that they will always act in your best interests.” Also on assuming the government can protect your future when it’s subject to the same laws of economics, plus it's subject to politics. On the central idea of allowing for many different possibilities/many different scenarios and also having the willingness to acknowledge mistakes.
192 On income security: on not being dependent on someone to guarantee your income; when the factory closes and the workers lose their jobs, the free person moves on to something better. [Note that this doesn't change the fact that at the moment you lost your job, but the mindset is everything here: you let go and move on to something else, you don't perpetuate a lack of freedom by wishing it didn't happen for example.]
193-4 On intellectual security: the insecure individual doesn’t want to be sovereign, they don’t want to construct their own philosophy of life, or risk that their philosophy of life might be wrong. Note these interesting thoughts here: “[The insecure individual] looks for a way to believe he’s right, no matter what consequences he experiences. He looks for a source of “truth” that he can believe in. When he finds it, he accepts it totally. He feels that this gives him the security to know that he’s right, and he prefers that kind of security to the need to rely upon his own ability. The philosophy he finds usually contains three basic ingredients. They are moral rightness, a leader, and an enemy. These ingredients arm him with an assurance that allows him to disregard the test of consequences. The sense of moral rightness permits him to believe that he’s right no matter what the consequences he receives in life.” [You could describe this in other words as a person being totally ludic, looking for preset rules to follow, such as a preset curriculum to graduate through, like school. Then: "I got my degree, where is my job?" which is just another version of "I paid for my Spanish classes, where is my Spanish?"] “So the insecure individual looks outside himself for intellectual security... Unfortunately, he lives in a fool’s paradise. He still has to deal with the world and with the consequences of his own actions.”
194 In contrast, “...the individual who recognizes his own sovereignty considers the consequences of his actions to be the only standard of right and wrong. He knows that he’s capable of seeing those consequences and reacting to them as necessary. He can change any course of action that doesn’t work; he can handle change and surprises as they occur. He can deal with whatever comes.
"He would feel insecure only if he had to act in accordance with someone else’s judgment. He would be genuinely afraid if someone else’s decisions were determining his future. He knows that the future is uncertain. But he’s willing to be vigilant--to check the results of his actions. And he’s willing to be honest--to acknowledge any mistakes and correct them immediately. He’s found the only kind of intellectual security that makes sense-reliance upon his own sovereignty.”
195ff On emotional security: examples here such as relying on your children, your marriage, etc for security; on needing to be understood and appreciated, where “the appreciation isn’t for what you are but instead for your role in the family or the group.” Contrast this to obtaining emotional security by earning it “by living up to the standards that have meaning to you, finding other people who value those standards, and continuing to live up to those standards. There’s no final resting place--short of death--where you can stop having to earn what you want. If you’re loved now, you’ll continue to be loved only if you continue to satisfy the values of the person who loves you. That fact should bother someone only if he doesn’t feel that he is genuinely worthy.” [Good rhetoric.]
195 “He recognizes that values constantly change. When a friendship is no longer in the best interests of both parties, he accepts the ending of it.”
196 General comments on security in the broad sense: “Insecurity comes from vulnerability. The insecure person relies upon protectors--institutions and people who will guarantee results for him. Because he knows intuitively that his interests can’t possibly be the paramount interest in someone else’s life, he’s vulnerable and he knows it... If you’re willing to depend upon the direct alternatives available to you, if you’re willing to be alert to changes as they develop, if you’re willing to be honest with yourself and with others, you have nothing to be insecure about--because there’s nothing you can’t handle. If you earn whatever you want, you know that it’s yours. Then life is an adventure. The uncertainty of the future is a challenge, not a source of dread.”
Chapter 24: Freedom from Exploitation
198 On blaming the system, employers, friends, families, lovers, etc. “Freedom from exploitation comes not from changing other people or the economic system; it comes from a recognition of the direct alternatives available to you.”
198 On the paradox that “all persons’ motivations are ‘purely selfish.’” “And so we come to the key question: If someone is being exploited, why does he permit it?” [Note the footnote here at the bottom of the page, where the author writes, “And why do I permit myself to be bored by such complaints over and over again?” One gigantic takeaway here--literally shouting from the page but not stated outright--is to never, ever, ever complain. Complaining is an act of giving away your power, and it’s an overt demonstration–that everybody can see–of your impotence. Do not do it.]
199 Different examples given here, including a spouse who mistreats you: “Obviously, the individual permits it because he believes it’s the best alternative available to him. He might wish he bad a better alternative, but he doesn’t know of any--and so he stays where he is. It’s surprising, then, that he usually aims his bitterness at the person he’s dealing with, when he really wishes that someone else would offer something better. I think it’s a general rule that if you feel you’re being exploited, the person you’re dealing with is usually the last person you should blame.”
199 “If there are better alternatives available to you and you don’t take advantage of them, then it’s you who is abusing you... It’s up to you to choose the people you’ll deal with.”
201ff Interesting comments here on if you think someone is charging "too much" for a product or service, then it should be a marvelous opportunity to enter the marketplace and do it for less! “You don’t have to buy from anyone. If you do buy, it’s because you value the product or service more than you value the money you’re spending. To resent a price is to wish that the seller would be ‘kinder’ and charge less or give more in return. That’s wishing that the other person were less selfish than you are. And while that would be nice if it were possible, it isn’t possible. So why even think about it?
"No one has to produce for others; he’ll do so only when he believes it’s to his advantage. And no one has to buy from anyone; he’ll do so only when it’s to his advantage. The desire for the service, together with available alternatives, will determine the price.”
202 Another interesting take [which certainly contains a lot more gratitude!]: “Since no one has to produce what I want, I’m relieved and grateful when I find that the things I want are available. I feel fortunate that others have chosen to produce the things I’d like to have.”
202-3: “If you feel exploited, you have four alternatives available:
1. You can stay and complain that you’re being ‘used’;
2. You can try to change the other person;
3. You can change the relationship so that the other person’s drawbacks don’t affect you; or
4. You can withdraw from the relationship and look for better alternatives.
Only the last two alternatives offer any hope for a better life.”
203 “Freedom from exploitation is perhaps the easiest freedom to get. All you have to do is to stop participating in any relationship--of any kind--that doesn’t suit you.”
Chapter 25: Freedom from the Treadmill
204 [Good articulation of the key theme of volition here]: “Many people feel that freedom is impossible because of the many hours required for work, because of their debts, and because they can’t afford to live the way they’d like to. The treadmill enslaves many people who can’t conceive that life could be any different. They stay where they are, leaving things as they are, making changes only when someone else initiates them. But why should it be that way? You’re a sovereign human being with numerous talents and a great many alternatives available to you.”
205 On solving problems, both literally and on having a problem-solving mindset: “Every problem you can solve means more money for you. A problem is a market for a solution. Be sensitive to the problems of everyone you do business with. If you don’t see problems, ask about them... Always try to determine the self-interest of anyone you deal with. And the best way to discover that is to ask him.”
206-7 On cutting down your working time without reducing your income: via contracting; dealing with customers or employers on the basis of results, not time/hours. On solving problems and satisfying needs, rather than just doing what you are asked to do.
208 On hiring out the least important parts of your work, using the extra hours to make more money, have extra time off, etc.
208ff On debts: how they paralyze you, immobilize you, make you fragile and less flexible, etc.
209ff On the author's personal value of “never worrying about small sums of money”: “Freedom from such concerns is important to me. I’d much rather spend my time listening to a Puccini opera than trying to choose between a $6 item and an $8 item.” [I get why the author might think this way, but I look at the small-item or small-ticket domain as a fractal of larger-item/large-ticket domains: I try to cultivate a value-seeking mindset: I look for undervalued items in the grocery store just like I look for undervalued stocks to invest in! To me it's all the same kata.]
210 On your decisions, what they displace, the fact that you can’t have everything, you have to draw the line somewhere: “It’s essential to realize that you can’t have everything, you can’t do everything. There’s always a price--and the price can be expressed in the alternatives that must be given up for something.” Also note this quote: “I’ve always wanted to be rich, but I’ve always been very lazy, too. One day I had it out with myself and decided that, given a choice, I would prefer a lower financial status to working long hours at something I didn’t enjoy.”
211 “Perhaps it isn’t surprising that I’ve made far more money during these past few years than I ever made before. For I’m much more valuable doing what I enjoy than I am doing what is distasteful to me.”
212 “I didn’t become free by working 60 hours a week--except during very brief periods when there were immediate and important rewards for doing so. I didn’t become free by accepting the routine that others expected of me.”
Chapter 26: Freedom from Pretense
214-5 Just like hiding your true self causes all sorts of social restrictions, small dishonesties or pretenses carry a high price: “When you’ve lied about something, your actions are restricted by the need to maintain the fiction you’ve created. You can no longer react freely and spontaneously to new developments; you always have to keep your guard up to avoid doing anything that might reveal your previous acts.
Ironically, I think dishonesty usually comes about as an attempt to avoid prices. A friend, Lynda Raff, once pointed out that lying is an attempt to get something for nothing. It’s the hope of being able to do something without the consequences that would naturally follow--the reactions of certain people. And yet, you usually wind up paying a higher price dealing with the problems required to continue the deception.
The value of honesty is greatest to the person being honest. It may be helpful to someone else if you’re honest with him, but you’re helping yourself far more by your honesty.”
215 On problems of dishonesty: you use up precious resource to cover up things; you miss opportunities to be yourself because you are hiding yourself; it leads to dishonesty towards yourself; it causes anxiety; sooner or later someone will become aware of your dishonesty.
215-6 On benefits of honesty: others accept your word more easily which opens up opportunities; it allows you to relax; you often project a more attractive image of yourself anyway; it frees others to reveal their feelings too; you can share your secrets with others.
217ff On various “encouragements” to lie in society: white lies, politicians, being nice, etc. Also on framing the truth: the author gives an example of a friend with a large nose and how to “not lie” about it (“no, you’re nose isn’t big at all!” which harms your credibility with others who see this interaction) but yet not be mean about it. “An important principle underlies the examples we’ve seen in this chapter: An individual can be sure of your honesty only if you’re honest with everyone."
219 "The first exception to your honesty destroys one of its most important benefits--the absolute trust of others." Also, note these little exercises the author gives himself to test his own honesty: "I find it valuable to test my honesty periodically. To do so, I pick a period of thirty minutes or so when I’m talking on the telephone or in person with others. I observe closely everything I say. Did I speak the absolute truth as I know it--or did I say what I felt I 'ought' to say in the circumstances?” Also: “Take an hour when you’ll be talking with someone. Instead of checking your statements after you say them, think twice about them before speaking. Stop your first impulse to speak, and check what you were about to say. Is it the truth? If it isn’t, determine what is and say that. After an hour, you may be exhausted from the concentration. So don’t overdo it at first. An hour each day might be enough to start with.”
220-1 “I’ve found that suppressing embarrassing things about myself costs me far too much freedom to be worth it. So, if I feared that a given person might discover something I had been trying to hide, I went to him and told it to him myself. The experience never failed to give me a wonderful sense of freedom. I no longer had to worry about it; the price had been paid once and for all, and I didn’t have to think about it again.”
221 On knowing yourself: “Only when you know who you are can you honestly represent yourself to others.” “[The person who doesn’t know himself] uses the word “I” dishonestly. He begins statements with’“I think...’ but he’s only repeating what he’s heard. He says, ‘I will...’ but he doesn’t really know what he’s going to do.” On the integrity of knowing yourself well: “Integrity is knowing yourself well enough to be able to mean what you say.”
222 “Discovering myself and displaying that self has brought me countless benefits, valuable friends, a clean, uncluttered life, and a wide expanse of freedom that I didn’t even know existed until I tried being totally honest.”
222 “Dishonesty is a form of the Identity Trap. When you lie to someone, you’re falling for the temptation to think that you’ll be more attractive (and get more of what you want) if you appear to be something different from what you are. Learn to trust your own nature, your own identity. Accept it, live it, reveal it. Don’t suppress it; don’t attempt to shade it with little lies and half-truths. When you do, you miss so much of life and the happiness that can be yours.”
Part III: A New Life
Chapter 27: Who Are You?
224 “Perhaps the most important part of the quest for freedom is discovering yourself, and that can be the hardest part. When you try to live up to an image dictated by others, it can be very difficult to know exactly who you are and what you want.” On needing time alone to understand yourself, your true needs and desires, on delinking them from your needs as determined when around others, etc. “Your desires will be best learned when there’s no one around to influence and inhibit you.”
225 Exercises here on looking back on your life, remembering times when you were dizzy with joy; exploring your fantasies and daydreams. Note this quote: “Most people don’t take their daydreams seriously. They consider them nothing more than an escape from the rigors of the real world. They’re unfree, and they don’t believe that their dreams could be satisfied. But if taken seriously, dreams can provide the motivation necessary to break out of boxes.” Other techniques: visualizing yourself “totally free of all commitments, obligations, and boxes.” Also on trying new things and paying attention to your reactions.
226 Comments here on how you need to cultivate your imagination, develop the art of it.
227 “I realize that the search for yourself can be a bit frightening sometimes. We’ve all lived with external standards that can conflict with our natures. And when you discover something about yourself that doesn’t suit the accepted standards, you may not be willing to accept your discovery.”
228 The author walks through a very interesting discussion about his discovery of his own laziness; how he didn’t want it to be true; how he was a high-achiever type but vaguely uncomfortable around other high-achiever types. “I didn’t want to be lazy. What would my friends think of me? What about the standards I espoused? How would I ever get out of debt? The apparent consequences were too horrible for me to accept my own laziness.” As he accepted this trait in himself he started working with the current rather than against it: “As I learned to accept that facet of my nature, I made changes in my life. I no longer tried to carry out plans that required more effort than I was capable of giving. I looked for ways to make money that capitalized on the things I could do best (and thus required fewer working hours) and which I enjoyed doing. I stopped worrying what my friends would think and looked for friends who were more relaxed, less compulsively active and productive, and more willing to accept pure enjoyment as a respectable activity.
Dramatic improvements appeared in every area of my life. Friendships and romances became genuine pleasures instead of situations in which a false image had to be maintained. I spent more time with good music and novels. I found new ways to enjoy myself--ways I could enjoy freely, for the burden of guilt was gone.” [This is a really good chapter about seeking congruency and internal consistency in your life; a good linkup with the ideas in Tyler Disney's book Deep Response too.]
230 On desires: long-term desires about the way of life you want, as well as short-term pleasures you seek.
231 On others telling you “that you shouldn’t be so preoccupied with yourself, or that you should accept the life you already have, or that it’s too 'idealistic' to expect to find genuine, durable happiness in this world. You may see others spending their lives working miserably to stay in their boxes. Realize that what they do is up to them. What you do is up to you.”
231 “My freedom and happiness weren’t achieved by compromising my standards to conform to the people around me. Neither did they come from a superhuman effort to change people. I’m free and happy because I accepted myself as I am and found a life that suits me...”
Chapter 28: Your Own Morality
232 [Interesting lead sentence, a slug of philosophy right here]: “A personal morality is a systematic attempt to recognize all the relevant consequences of your acts. Its purpose is to prevent you from doing something hastily that might interfere with your long-term goals.”
232 “The temptation to act ‘immorally’ is usually the result of trying to be moral in a way that isn’t really suitable to you. But if you’ve thought things out for yourself, you’ll develop principles you can live with comfortably--principles that match your understanding of reality, principles that can help keep you pointed in the direction you want to go, principles you can act upon without mixed emotions.
"A clear-cut morality is like a boundary line. Beyond the boundaries set by your morality, you know you can run into trouble. Within the boundaries, you can act freely and spontaneously because you believe no problems will be caused by your short-term enjoyment.”
232ff “If you construct your morality carefully, it should serve you especially well in a crisis. The worst time to reconsider long-range principles is during a crisis. When emotions are intense, it’s very difficult to see realistically all the consequences that might ensue from your choices.” [This is a wonderful chapter so far with lots of insights] Also on thinking through exceptions that you would incorporate into your thinking ahead of time.
234ff The author offers a list of several questions to help you construct your own morality, telling readers to think through the consequences to various answers to each of these questions, to write them out, refine them, even record your answers. “Don’t rush; the job may take years--but it’s worth it.”
1. In what circumstances would you steal, if ever?
2. How honest should you be? Do different relationships deserve different degrees of honesty? If so, on what basis can you decide the degree of honesty appropriate to the relationship? (If you know in advance the circumstances that warrant lying, you’ll be less likely to feel guilty when you do so in accordance with your rules.)
3. When would you use physical force to protect yourself? In what circumstances would you use it to get something you want? To what extent would you use it to repel an intruder from your property?
4. In what circumstances would you go to the aid of a stranger? When would it be unrealistic to do so?
5. Would you interfere to stop a fight between a friend and someone else? Between two strangers?
6. In what circumstances would you accept a government subsidy? (If such a question is important to you, recognize that there are many kinds of subsidies--“public” schools, government contracts, Medicare, for example.)
7. What is the limit to which you’ll go to satisfy your parents’ wishes? Your friends’ wishes? The wishes of your lover or spouse?
8. How much sympathy, attention, or help are you willing to give your friends? Is there a limit? If so, what is it?
9. In what circumstances should you not act sexually as you want to at that moment?
10. Are there any circumstances in which you would allow your own desires to be overruled by a group decision? If so, what circumstances?
11. How involved should you be with someone whose answers to the above questions are quite different from yours? Which of the issues involved are the most critical to you?
236ff The author then gives some of his most important moral principles:
1. Never expect anyone to act from your knowledge, perspective, or objectives. Assume that his viewpoints will differ in some ways from yours.
2. Never make an important decision when your emotions are dominating your mind.
3. Never lie or appear to be something other than what you are--unless you’re sure that your life or the life of someone very important to you is literally at stake.
4. Never invest any resource (time, money, emotional involvement) that you’re not prepared to lose.
5. Never take on a new responsibility, time commitment, or liability without recognizing what must be given up to accommodate it. [This is a great rule! Always, always think of what this new thing will displace.]
6. Always leave some free time in your schedule to take advantage of new opportunities as they arise. If there are no new opportunities during the period, the free time can always be used for pure pleasure. [Leave extra space for good things to come to you--another great rule.]
7. Never use someone’s property in any way that he doesn’t approve of--unless your life or the life of someone very important to you is literally at stake.
8. Never focus your attention on anyone’s weaknesses--his temper, sloppiness, poor logic, dishonesty, whatever. Recognize these shortcomings, take them into consideration, but don’t waste your time complaining about them. Instead, pay attention to what your actions should be in order to deal with him.
9. Never quibble over a price you didn’t expect to pay. Pay it and move on to better things. [Here he likely means “price” in the in the literal sense but also in the broad, metaphorical sense discussed elsewhere in the book, like in paying the price to "get out of a box."]
10. Never form a partnership (an agreement in which responsibilities or rewards will be shared) for any purpose.
11. Never become directly involved in violence unless it appears to be the only alternative to prevent more serious injury to yourself or to someone very important to you.
12. Never forsake your rules because of someone’s actions or opinions.
238 “Don’t allow the standards of others to influence you. Different people, with different views of life, have different ideas about what is possible. Let them choose for themselves--and you choose for you... You’re not acting irresponsibly by choosing for yourself. Your actions will produce consequences that you’ll have to live with; you’re accepting that fact when you create a morality for yourself. What could be a greater example of responsibility than an individual who chooses for himself and is prepared to accept the consequences of his own choices?” The author goes on to contrast this with a person refusing to take credit or blame for his own actions, “disclaiming the responsibility for his own acts.” “A free person has no one to blame.”
Chapter 29: Is Your Life What You Want it To Be?
239 [Interesting lead quote here on how there's sort of an inertia in any goal-seeking behavior, where you keep the behavior after you've reached the goal, or after the goal stops being relevant to you]: “When you find an attractive long-term goal, it’s easy to be induced to take on obligations that seem necessary to attain it. Unfortunately, however, years later the obligations may have turned into burdens--and the burdens can remain long after the goals have been reached or even discarded.” An example here is getting married, then the relationship changes, but the structure of the marriage is still there, and “The negative side of marriage remains long after the positive goals have been discarded.” See also personal habits or routines that outlive their usefulness.
239ff On making a list of the things you do in the 168 hours of a given week, and thinking about their relative usefulness; also on labeling them on three metrics:
1) good/bad/indifferent
2) positive/negative
3) active/passive
Also on different types of labels for “why” you take on these activities:
1) enjoyment vs past mistakes (i.e., the activity is a function of a mistake you made or you haven't paid the "price" to get out from under the activity yet)
2) productive short-term vs productive long-term, vs not productive at all
239-40 Using good/bad/indifferent labels too: good for any activity that makes you feel good; bad for things you dread or that cause discomfort; indifferent for neutral activities (like brushing your teeth, per the author). Also the author says to not label based on how it “ought” to be. Then look at the “bad” activities and ask why you continue them, what box are you putting yourself into that keeps you doing them? Likewise for “indifferent” activities: “It isn’t necessary that your life be full of bad and indifferent activities. Take a close look at your present routine and rearrange things so that a great deal of your time is spent more enjoyably. [This reminds me of Larry Hite's great quote in his book The Rule: "I didn't want to get really good in meetings" which is basically like saying "I don't want to do things I don't want to do."]
240ff On using the labels of "positive" (those things you choose to do to increase your happiness) or "negative" (those things you do in order to avoid unhappiness): e.g., a Sunday afternoon with no commitments vs a Sunday you spend with relatives in order to avoid family turmoil. “After you’ve applied labels to your entire week, you should have a pretty good idea how much of your life is yours to enjoy as you desire. If it isn’t much, start dismantling the boxes that tie up so much of your time.”
241 Using the active/passive labels: "The active label applies to anything you have initiated, the things you do because you have decided they should be done. The passive label should be attached to those activities you do because someone else wants you to do them. Do you simply react as other people initiate things? Do you find yourself hoping that others will suggest the things you’d like to see happen? If so, why don’t you act? Why don’t you initiate new, more enjoyable, more sensible activities? After all, others may never initiate the things you want to happen.”
241-2 Using the productive/enjoyment labels “to determine why you’ve taken on these activities and to see if they still serve any valid functions. Using the labels enjoyment/past mistakes: things that bring you happiness right now vs things you have to do because a costly thing you did in the past.
242 “The last three labels designate activities that are supposed to provide happiness at some time in the future.” Productive-short term, productive long-term and productive never: “Some activities can bear more than one label.” (Examples here might be your job; getting a degree; planting a garden, etc.)
242 “The five labels identify those parts of your life that deal with the past (past mistakes), the present (enjoyment), and the future (the three productive labels).”
243 “When I review my activities with this technique, I immediately eliminate the productive–never items from my life. I spend the most time appraising the productive short-term and long-term activities.” Comments here on being skeptical of long-term projects in a changing world; shorter-term goals can be appraised realistically and discarded when necessary. “I also take a second look at each activity I’ve labeled enjoyment--to be sure I really enjoy those things. If I’m not very sure, I start looking for better things with which to replace them.” [Aspects of this process look a bit like Stephen Covey's Four Quadrants.]
243 Good quote here on how happiness ensues: “The many stories of single-minded success-seekers who patiently climbed to the top make good reading, but they can overlook a lot of relevant details. Often, the prize is attained when the winner is too old to enjoy it fully. In reality, I think that success is more often achieved by individuals who found ways of enjoying themselves while in the process of getting where they wanted to go.”
243 “If you use these four techniques, you might wind up with a page full of labels. It may seem very mechanical, but it will help to demonstrate how much of your life can be wasted in purposeless activity. If you wonder why you aren’t free, a few hours spent with these techniques may provide the answer.”
244 “The use of these techniques can dramatically increase your self-control, self-confidence, and happiness. They will provide an answer to the important question: How many hours a week are you happy? ... Without realizing it, you can spend most of your time doing things that contribute nothing to your happiness--and that actually perpetuate the conditions that make you unfree and unhappy.”
244 Another good quote: “Don’t be too anxious to justify your activities as being necessary to long-term goals. The future has an annoying habit of forgetting its appointments--or arriving too late for them. I’ve always found it hard to understand why so many people live so much for the future--especially when the present is such a lovely place.”
244-5 The author comments here on making sure each week and day has unplanned time, on simplifying your life, on removing things that contribute nothing positive, etc. On the idea that life doesn’t have to be filled with commitments, that you yourself actually made your life complicated. “It wasn’t society, the economic system, the people you consider to be nuisances, your parents, or anyone else. Every complication in your life today is the result of something you’ve allowed to happen. You initiated it, or you consented to it, or you’ve allowed it to continue.”
Chapter 30: A Fresh Start
246ff The author’s technique of “starting from zero” with seven steps: “Even with the labeling techniques we saw in the last chapter, it’s too easy to rationalize every part of your present existence as being necessary--if you use it as the starting point. So it’s important to clear your mind of all present commitments; only then can you get a clear view of what you really need to be happy.”
1. Mentally step outside your present way of life: envision yourself totally on your own, without your commitments, possessions, family, career, etc. you’re starting from zero with a clean slate
2. What would you do? “Ask yourself what you’d do with this totally free situation. Where would you go? What would you like to do for a living? What have you always wanted to do that’s been prevented by your old way of life?” The author also says to do this part for days, even weeks, as you build on and improve your dream and as you identify (and write down) the basic elements of it.
3. What is your present life like? “What activities engage you now? What is your work? How do you spend your time? Who are you required to associate with?”
4. Cross off everything in your present life that doesn’t appear in your dream life. “You might find that you’ll cross off everything from your present life--that you’re not doing anything now that conforms with your dream of an ideal life... All you need to find is a way out of it--and we’re coming to that.”
5. What do you need to make your dream life possible? “Estimate the requirements and costs of your imagined new life.” Money, time, extra knowledge, etc. [In other words, figure out the "price" to get out of the box]
6. What are your present assets and liabilities? “In addition to monetary responsibilities, inventory your other commitments. Are you obligated to future social responsibilities? Are you married? Do you have children? What other commitments do you have?”
7. Make changes. “Eliminate present assets that aren’t on your dream list... Use the cash proceeds to pay off your liabilities. Try to eliminate every commitment in that way.”
250 “Don’t be afraid to give up anything that’s part of a basically unfree life. Anything you cherish can probably be reacquired later without any of the problems involved now. The important thing is to be free–and that may require a clean sweep.”
250ff Other advice here, like reducing your time commitment to your job to the bare minimum; likewise with relationships, determine “what you truly need and want from the relationship, then determine what’s necessary to make that possible, and eliminate from your present activities anything that exceeds that. You don’t have to call friends daily or weekly to keep their friendship, nor do you have to visit your parents weekly to retain them as your parents.”
251 On various questions that may come up: “Don’t give up your dreams just because you can’t answer every question yet... If you’re not allowed to consider such things for yourself, you must be a slave.” [Wonderfully effective rhetoric here.]
252 “Now we’ve finally come to the important question: What do you do about it? The only sensible answer is to eliminate from your life whatever isn’t suited to you, acquire the freedom you’ve craved, and start living your life as you want to live it.
"The starting-from-zero technique is an essential means of getting from here to there. If you use your present life as the starting point, you have very little chance of getting what you want; you can find too many justifications for hanging on to each part of your present routine. You have to go back to zero and start there, asking yourself what you’d do if you weren’t involved as you are now. Only in that way can you see a clear, realistic picture of the life that would make you happy... I’ve seen friends use various kinds of “gradualism” in their approaches, but years later they were still in the same boxes.”
Chapter 31: A Fresh Start (Continued)
254 “The starting from zero technique can be used on a smaller scale to straighten out problems in any specific area of your life.” The author did this when reshaping his business, he thought in terms of "functions necessary" rather than staff hires, he rethought expenses he found could dispense with, etc.
255-6 Great technique here on unraveling jointly owned property in relationships: sell everything and divide up the cash, or use the technique of splitting all the property into two equal shares and have the other person choose which share they want. Note that this can be structured into a buyout clause in a business partnership too: “The contract specifies that either partner can offer to buy out the other at any time--specifying the price he’s willing to pay. The other partner must either accept the offer or buy out the first partner at the same price. In other words, one partner determines the price; the other then chooses whether he’ll buy or sell at that price. Neither can complain that the price was unfair.” [I learned this technique as a kid for dividing up the last piece of pie or dessert: one person cuts it and the other person gets to pick the piece they want. Hilarious!]
256ff And then a third way, the author’s preferred way, of dividing property: “...to hold an auction--an auction at which the two of you will bid against each other for the property that’s been jointly owned.” (!!!) “Now place each item of jointly owned property on the auction block--one at a time. Each of you can bid as much money for each item as you think it’s worth to you. The highest bidder for each item gets it--and he then owes that amount of money to the proceeds.” “...this plan can be used no matter how many people are involved--and no matter what the shares of ownership may be.” [Utterly fascinating and creative.]
257 “This is a simple, clean way of untangling complicated affairs. There’s no bitter aftermath; everyone can part friends without the recriminations and accusations that usually accompany property settlements.”
257-8 Finally comments on the idea that “there’s always a way out”: no matter how many boxes you are in, there’s always a way to pay a price and get out.
Chapter 32: Making Changes
259ff Comments here on finding out what the “price” is that you must pay to make major changes: “The price may be in emotional upheaval, the admission of a mistake, the paying of a debt you haven’t wanted to acknowledge, the loss of money or property you’ve thought was yours. Whatever the price, identify it now... It may be a fantastic price or a tiny one--but there is a price.” “As you think about the price, it’s important to decide how much you’re willing to pay to be rid of the box. There’s a point beyond which it would no longer be worth it to you to make the change. Decide now what that point is.” The author gives various examples here: giving up everything you’ve created to let go of a business arrangement, losing your property and custody of your children to let go of a marriage, etc. On not evading the price.
261 On not getting sidetracked by guilt, blame, wanting to "be right," arguing about who’s at fault, etc.
261 “When the price is determined, try to pay it in as short a period as possible. The sooner you’ve satisfied the obligations, the sooner you’ll be totally free. If it’s merely a confrontation you must go through, get it over with as soon as possible. If it involves money or time, arrange to pay the price in full as soon as you can.”
261ff Then “picture yourself paying that price. Imagine yourself actually doing the things you’ll have to do to finish this business. If it’s painful, then do it again. Keep picturing yourself paying the price--the whole scene, every bit of dialogue--over and over again until it’s no longer painful and terrifying.” [It's an interesting combination of visualization and desensitization therapy here.]
262 “I believe that bold action is necessary to get out of a gray existence and into a sunny one. But it’s essential that you know what’s coming before you act.”
263 Comments on “withdrawal symptoms” where you miss a person you had a relationship with; on recognizing now that these feelings will occur if you make this change/pay this price. “You won’t be thrown off balance and tempted to run back to your old way of life, just to eliminate a temporary emotional discomfort.”
264-5 Interesting comments here on courage: “You may feel that you don’t have the courage to make big changes in your life. But courage is too often thought of as blind, thoughtless bravado. It usually isn’t. People who seem to act ‘courageously’ usually have specific consequences in mind; they know the consequences both of acting and not acting. They’ve decided that the consequences of not acting are worse than the consequences of what we consider to be their courageous acts... Once you can see and almost taste the good consequences of being free, once you know how to handle the prices you’ll have to pay to get there, you’ll be impatient to start. You won’t lack the courage.”
265-6 On the needs of others in your life and their potential dependence on you: the author has you visualize your death and the fact that “the world will survive without you.” [This next quote is hilarious]: “Somehow your relatives will find someone else to borrow money from; the church will get someone else to arrange the flowers on the altar every Sunday; your friends will find new people to do favors for them. And your spouse may mourn for a suitable period--and then marry your best friend. Your political crusades will succeed or fail--just as they would if you were around to help. Your club will find someone else to do its fund-raising. And those who’ve leaned so heavily upon you for advice and sympathy will find other shoulders (and probably follow the new advice as infrequently as they did yours).” The point here is to recognize that you are not literally dying, you’re just removing yourself from “the relationships and complications that don’t add to your well-being.”
267ff The author shares his story of tolerating an unhappy marriage for eight years: He thought she would be helpless without him and so he stayed out of guilt, but ultimately he found that as soon as he left her she became self-sufficient on her own. “One of the most meaningful compliments I’ve ever received came years later when my wife thanked me for making her freedom possible.” Also note this striking comments about his daughter, as he gave up total custody of her in his divorce: “To keep the marriage intact, I had compromised my own ideas about raising children; I went along with traditions of morality and religion that I didn’t really believe. I wasn’t being myself; I wasn’t giving her the things I have to offer. What I did give her could have been had from many other men. What she lost by being separated from me has been replaced by someone else. What I lost was something I never really had--the opportunity to raise a child with enthusiasm, genuine rapport and mutual understanding, and the freedom to be the kind of example I’d like to set for a child.”
269 “Recognize what you have to do. Anticipate all the prices and picture yourself paying them. Be straightforward with everyone concerned. And don’t be ashamed of what you’re doing.
"Above all, recognize the prices in advance. Don’t act whimsically, ignoring the consequences to come. Be prepared to have some of the unknown factors turn out negatively--and decide in advance how you’ll handle them if they do.
"Expect in advance the disapproval, the emotional difficulty, the withdrawal symptoms. And savor the good things that your freedom can bring you. Keep them in mind as you act; know why you’re taking action.”
Epilogue
Chapter 33: Freedom in an Unfree World
272 “My main objective has been to get you thinking about yourself, to open up new avenues of freedom for you, to help you think of ways to use direct alternatives to build a better life for yourself. The important thing is that you take yourself more seriously, that you respect your own view of the world and make sure that it really is your view, not something you’ve been told.”
273 The author walks through his various obstacles, the first and largest one being his marriage: once he broke free of it, the rest of his obstacles were philosophical in nature. [Major quote here expressing in a nutshell one of the book’s central ideas, which by the way can be easily--if unethically--strawmanned as being "selfish"]: “A big philosophical breakthrough for me was the realization that my own freedom was not only possible, but far more important than the establishment of a free society. I came to see how foolish it was to waste my precious life trying to make the world into what I’d thought it should be. I had always been intuitively partial toward direct alternatives, but now I was determined to build my whole life upon them.” [The pseudoargument that this is selfish is easily vaporized once we understand how fallible each of us is, and how all our ideas for "fixing the world" will be as wrong and as misguided as any of our other judgments! The more epistemic humility you have, the more you realize how arrogant it is to think you can somehow make the world into something that it is not and will never be. It's taken me 56 years to get this through my thick head and I still periodically forget it.]
273 Next, he had to figure out a way to earn the money that he wanted without being a slave to the system running on a treadmill. And then he established friendships with the boundaries he wanted: “I’ve learned how to say ‘no’ and I’ve learned how to make it easy for others to say ‘no’ to me when that’s what they want to do.”
274 “The examples I’ve used throughout the book were given to demonstrate that there are many practical ways by which you can improve your life and remove restrictions. They were never meant to suggest that you should do the same things I have done. In the same way, the suggestions made were designed to show you that there’s always a way--as long as you’re not looking for ways to change others.”
275 “The problem for most people is that they wish things were better, but they’re not determined to make them so.”
275 Comments here on how this is a process that helps you become more and more aware of your power as you're able to use it in more life domains and as your sense of self-sovereignty gets stronger. “The rewards will be magnified as your sense of sovereignty underlies your way of life. You’ll automatically avoid boxes and traps, you’ll be ever alert for opportunities and new ways to experience happiness.”
276-7 “Then as this attitude permeates your way of life, the time may come when you’ll no longer see any point in trying to influence your spouse, your lover, your close friends, your business associates.
"You’ll be so aware that each person must go his own way, in his own way, that you won’t want the sour fruits of a victory that requires someone else to change his ways. What you get from trying to restrain someone’s natural impulses is of little benefit to you. What you get from a person whose desires naturally benefit you is magnificent.”
"And so one day you may discover that you’ve achieved a new freedom, an emotional freedom that’s greater than any you’ve known before--freedom from the urge to control others.” [Another money quote right there.]
...This freedom has been completely mine only for a year or two--so it’s still new and awesome to me. I doubt that I could ever put into words the effect it has had upon my life. I know that it makes me feel lighter than air; I’m relieved of all the burdens that come from feeling that someone else must act in a way I want.”
...I’m free!--free of that awesome responsibility that once commanded me to worry about everything, that once caused me to continually try to make others see what I understand, that once made the actions of others my responsibility and concern.”
278 “When I lost the urge to control others, I also lost all need to hate or fear anyone. The world is no longer divided between the good guys and the bad guys. Now I can see that each person is seeking his own happiness, each in his own way (just as I am), and that there are some people with whom I have a conflict of interest.”
278 “I don’t think you can really be free until you’re willing to let others be free. Only then are you relieved of that terrible responsibility for the way others act.”
279 “Too, the book is a part of my personal advertising campaign--revealing what I am to those who would approve. I know that there are plenty of people who see life in a way similar to mine. I’ve met many of them--and I know there must be many more. My life has been enriched by such people; their presence has brought me thousands of days of stimulation, excitement, and happiness.
"With so many wonderful people alive, why should I focus on those with whom I have conflicts of interest? Why should I try to rally the kindred souls into a fruitless crusade to change the world? The world is already too beautiful, so full of wonderful opportunities that I couldn’t possibly take advantage of all those already available to me. Why must I make the world better?”
279ff On still more stages of freedom: the freedom to discover yourself more intensely, to develop as your nature dictates: “You come to a point where you take yourself more and more seriously and begin to accept more and more of what you see in yourself. And then you come to another point where you feel you’ve never really seen yourself clearly before. And another point and another. You continually achieve new levels of awareness of yourself. I call this freedom from the urge to change yourself." [The first thing that came to my mind when reading this was the zen-like, beautiful lines from T.S. Eliot’s The Four Quartets]:
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
280 Comments here on self-acceptance [the way he frames this is sort of like the "final boss," the last thing you have to conquer]: “Every day I’m more and more willing to accept myself as I am; I regard my nature as a given fact and then work to satisfy myself as I am. I can’t say whether I will ever completely lose the urge to control my own nature. I know only that everything I do to move closer to that goal is of great benefit to me. And I know how valuable it has been to me to lose the urge to control others--so I expect to continue to benefit as I become less inclined to control myself."
280 “No one can stop you from living as you want to live--unless you disregard your own sovereignty.”
Appendices
A. Afterword to the 25th Edition
283 “The ideas in this book have served me well for most of my life. Nothing in the past 24 years has suggested to me that my basic view of how the world works is incorrect.”
283ff Comments on where he has adjusted his thinking: with marriage (he ended up getting married again and is happy) and with the government (“it may not be as easy to ignore the government as it was when this book was first written” as the government is bigger and more intrusive). Note that the author ran as the Libertarian candidate in 1996 (!) openly admitting it was an “indirect alternative” but yet he enjoyed the challenge and the experience.
285 “I have had a very exciting life--living six years in Switzerland and five years in Canada, seeing my books on the national best-seller lists, including one that reached #1, watching my expectations for runaway gold and silver prices come true in the 1970s, traveling, meeting celebrities, living well. But the most exciting two years of my life were those I spent running for President. I traveled to 37 states, appeared on over 500 talk-radio shows, spoke before groups all over America. I was encouraged to find that most Americans are fed up with big government.” [Interesting also to note that running a campaign like this can also sell a lot of books!! You have convexity to the publicity.]
285 “You have to decide for yourself whether to participate in any group endeavor. And one thing to weigh is whether you will consider your participation to have been worthwhile even if the group doesn’t achieve its main objective.”
286 “No matter how big the government gets, no matter how others decide to live, you have the opportunity to live more freely than most people believe possible. More than anything else, you achieve your freedom by letting others be free, by resisting the urge to control their actions, by releasing them to make their own decisions--and then by making your decisions based on what’s actually available to you, not on the circumstances you wish for.”
287 “I don't advise being careless or sloppy. I do advise that you hold fast to your beliefs and act in the best way you know how--but then forgive yourself whenever you fail to measure up to your standards. You will never be perfect. But you can be free and happy. I hope you make it.” [Readers, I hope you make it too! WAGMI.]
B. Acknowledgments
288 Notable that the author cites two people who “spent hundreds of hours working with me, clarifying the principles involved and editing my words. They understand the concepts very well, and so their suggestions were usually very helpful.” First, citing Mark Corske, who wrote a [potentially fascinating] book called Engines of Domination and Donna Rasnake, who did an interesting interview with the author, transcribed here.
288 Also noteworthy that Browne cites the writings of Murray Rothbard here. I found his book Anatomy of the State to be extremely useful in understanding the metagame involved in modern nation-state government. Also intriguing to see the author Andrew J. Galambos as an influence on the author, I’ve not heard of him but his works Thrust for Freedom: An Introduction to Volitional Science and Sic Itur Ad Astra: The Theory of Volition both sound interesting. Also note the works of F.A. Harper, cited in the To Read section below.
Note the quote here at the end of this section:
“To take what there is, and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived--to dig deep into the actual and get something out of that--this doubtless is the right way to live.
--Henry James
C. Glossary
290ff Good reminders here of various central concepts from the book here. I'll share some of the key terms:
Absolute morality: A morality to which an individual is expected to surrender his happiness.
Direct alternative: A choice available to you that requires only direct action by yourself to get a desired result. (See also indirect alternative.)
Indirect alternative: A choice available to you that requires that you induce someone else to do what is necessary to achieve your objective. (See also direct alternative.)
Negative decision: A decision in which all known alternatives would leave you with less happiness than you had prior to the necessity of making the decision.
One-sided transaction: A relationship in which one party has used violence (or the threat of it) to force the other to participate.
Personal morality: The attempt to consider all the relevant consequences of your actions. (Used synonymously with morality. See also absolute morality and universal morality.)
Positive decision: A decision in which you can choose among two or more alternatives--any of which would increase your happiness.
Two-sided transaction: A relationship in which both parties participate because they want to.
Universal morality: A code of conduct that is presumed will bring happiness to anyone who uses it.
Note also these useful one-sentence definitions of the various “traps” described earlier in the book. See for example:
Box Trap: The assumption that the cost of getting out of a bad situation is too great to consider.
Burning-Issue Trap: The belief that there are compelling social issues that require your participation.
Certainty Trap: The urge to act as though your information were totally certain.
Despair Trap: The belief that other people can prevent you from being free.
Emotional Trap: The belief that you can make important decisions at a time when you’re feeling strong emotions.
Government Traps: (1) The belief that governments perform socially useful functions that deserve your support. (2) The belief that you have a duty to obey laws. (3) The belief that the government can be counted upon to carry out a social reform you favor. (4) The fear that the government is so powerful that it can prevent you from being free.
Group Trap: The belief that you can accomplish more by sharing responsibilities, efforts, and rewards with others than you can by acting on your own.
Identity Traps: (1) The attempt to be someone other than yourself. (2) The assumption that others will do things in the way that you would
Intellectual Trap: The belief that your emotions should conform to a preconceived standard that has been intellectually determined.
Morality Trap: The belief that you must obey a moral code created by someone else.
Previous-Investment Trap: The belief that time, effort, and money spent in the past are considerations when making a decision in the present.
Rights Trap: The belief that your rights will make you free.
Unselfishness Trap: The belief that you must put the happiness of others ahead of your own.
Utopia Trap: The belief that you must create better conditions in society before you can be free.
D. Recommended Reading
294 Comments here on how the recommended reading list from the original edition 25 years ago includes many books out of print and hard to find. [This is often the case with samizdat literature!] Some of the books listed here that grabbed me are listed in the to read section below (along with many other reading suggestions derived either directly or indirectly from the main text).
E. About the Author
300 [It's always interesting to hear how an author renders himself in his about the author section.] Here Harry Browne talks about how we only attended college for two weeks, that he now lives in Tennessee [actually he lived in Franklin, TN, just south of Nashville, note that this was in 2004, long before hipsters took over Nashville]. And then a discussion of his various books, including his 1970 book How You Can Profit from the Coming Devaluation, his 1974 book You Can Profit from a Monetary Crisis, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, originally published in 1973, and his most recent book Liberty, A to Z, published in 2004 just two years before he died.
301 “His main non-professional interests are classical music, opera, operetta, good food and wine, sports, drama, television, and fiction.” [God bless you my dude. God bless you.]
To Read:
Harry Browne: You Can Profit from a Monetary Crisis (online borrowable copy here)
Harry Browne: The Secret of Selling Anything
Harry Browne: How You Can Profit from the Coming Devaluation (borrowable copy here)
Rudyard Kipling: The Story of the Gadsbys (see also Kiplings's poem “The Winners”)
Frederic Bastiat: Selected Essays on Politcal Economy (see in particular “The State”)
F.A. Harper: The Writings of F.A. Harper (Vol I: The Major Works)
F.A. Harper: The Writings of F.A. Harper (Vol II: Shorter Essays)
David Seabury: How to Worry Successfully
David Seabury: The Art of Selfishness [“Excellent book”] (borrowable copy here)
Herbert Spencer: Essays: Scientific, Political, & Speculative
***Abbie Hoffman: Steal This Book
Lysander Spooner: The Lysander Spooner Reader
Germain Greer: The Female Eunuch
David S. Viscott: The Making of a Psychiatrist
David S. Viscott: Emotional Resilience
e.e. cummings: A Miscellany Revised
Mark Corske: Engines of Domination
Andrew J. Galambos: Sic Itur Ad Astra: The Theory of Volition
Andrew J. Galambos: Thrust for Freedom: An Introduction to Volitional Science
Gerald M. Weinberg: The Secrets of Consulting: A Guide to Giving and Getting Advice Successfully [“clear-eyed and clever and fun to read”]
Jay Conrad Levinson: Earning Money Without A Job
Barbara J. Winter: Making A Living Without A Job
David S. Viscott, M.D.: Feel Free [“Plenty of encouragement…Very easy to read.”]
Barbara Sher: Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want
Joyce Chapman: Live Your Dream!
Nathaniel Branden: The Disowned Self [“A good exposition of the problems caused by the Identity and Intellectual Traps.”]
Dr. Haim G. Ginott: Between Parent and Child [“A wonderful manual for improving communication.”]
Dale Dauten: The Max Strategy [“elegant little book on how to thrive and prosper from change and uncertainty.”]
Michael Ray and Rochelle Myers: Creativity In Business [“...the book’s a joy to read.”]
Roger von Oech: A Whack on the Side of the Head
George S. Clason: The Richest Man In Babylon
Jerry Gillies: Moneylove
Eric Frank Russell: ...And Then There Were None [short story]
Cameron Hawley: Cash McCall